Thanks for posting. Yes, it is exactly that. It's a double edge sword. But I like to think instead of how the opposite works. How unattractive people get treated by these same types. They get abused and shit on in different ways. Simply because of how they look. I'm sure it's equally bad if not worse. We all age and die, looks fade away, but still, sadly, so much importance is put on appearance. I think however, life is generally easier for pretty people.

At last, a chance to share this screenshot of this curiously-worded pop-up ad that's been gathering dust in my phone!

Interesting article. I wonder what his faux character looked like to garner such responses.

As men we need to face this and see how we consciously and unconsciously fit into this unhealthy behavior. Always good to see another guy working on this.

I'm sure some feel it's burdensome and some I know use it to their advantage.

Nice post Thank you.

I was never conventionally attractive but at least held my own. Never thin but never fat. Working in a male dominated job (off-set camera operator in the printing industry) I had my share of harassment and creepy guys. But I held my own.

Like people of color can't hide women can not hide and had to fight for the right to vote and be equal - still not ratified BTW - Not all white guys but some that disparaged women were also racists. There are also many non-white men that harass women.

What would be wonderful is if none of this had to matter.

I think there's a burden to being female, no matter how attractive. It's just that the burdens are different. As a late bloomer, I was picked on as a teen for being ugly, for not being thin enough, etc., and to this day I still have self-esteem issues that stem from that. Now I find when people want to compliment me, I want to argue with them, it's hard to take a simple compliment. On the other hand, men can be super pushy or creepy or outright scary when they are attracted to a woman, and they are usually quite unaware of how they come across. The InCel movement is evidence enough. Now you have to worry about being targeted for your autonomy if some self-centered loser decides he thinks you should sleep with him.

It's a lose/lose proposition. For what it's worth, though, I appreciate your apology.

Thank you for your empathy and awareness...thank goodness there are many more men like you than those who think it is their right and privilege to harass and abuse women due to their outwardly appearance or dress...it doesn't matter what you do for a living or whether you are a private or public person...respect and kindness towards a woman is always the route to go, even if she devalues herself and seems to invite or encourage that kind of behavior. Insightful and kind post, Lukian...you have earned my respect.

'Conventionally attractive' people can cry me a fucking river.

When younger I was extremely attractive, although like many young women with self esteem issues, I was too focused on my flaws to realize how attractive I was. It never felt like having power, but it often left me vulnerable to predatory types. That was a very uncomfortable feeling,and of course, added to my self esteem issues. Now I'm a pretty ordinary looking older woman who sometimes wishes she could have do-overs on the youth.

I am pleased that I am not a 'conventionally' attractive female. Although there have been times in my life where I wish I was, just so that I could have the attention that I think I needed, in order to make me feel validated.(I think that comes from being a female because we are and always have been judged on our physical attributes). I would not want to have to deal with the inappropriate attention it could bring.
With that being said though, I think just being female, 'attractive' or not, of age or not, available or not, opens us all up to the abuse that men don't otherwise have to endure.

So he openly admits to cat fishing?