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Is True Love Attainable?

I would like to share this story of Plato learning about love and marriage. I first heard about it years ago and happened to see it again today.

One day, Plato asked his teacher, “What is love? How can I find it?”

The teacher answered, “There’s a large wheat field in front. Walk there without turning back, and take just one leaf. If you can find one leaf that you think is extraordinary, it means you have found love.”

So Plato walked…and not long after that, he came back empty-handed.

The teacher asked him, “Why, you don’t bring any leaf?”

Plato said, “I can only bring just one leaf and when I walked through the wheat field I can’t turn my back. Actually I have found one extraordinary leaf, but I don’t know whether there’s any other leaf more extraordinary, so I didn’t take that leaf. When I walked further, I realized that the leaves I found are not as extraordinary compared to the leaf I’ve found earlier in my walk. In the end, I didn’t take any single leaf.”

Then the teacher told him, “So…that is love.”

Another day, Plato asked his teacher again, “What is marriage? How can I find it?”

The teacher answered, “There is a forest in front. Please walk there and don’t look back. You can only cut one tree, and cut the one that you think is the highest. That is when you find marriage.”

Plato walked there, and he came back not long after bringing one tree. The tree, however, was not a very good tree and not a very tall one, either. It’s just an ordinary tree.

The teacher asked him, “Why did you cut that kind of tree?”

Plato answered, “Because from my previous experience, after walking through the wheat field, I came back with nothing. So this time, when I saw this tree which I think is not so bad, I decided to cut it and bring it here. I don’t want to lose another chance to get it.”

And the teacher said, “Well …that is marriage.”

Mantra 6 Oct 20
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7 comments

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1

I still enjoy Plato for the general truths he gives, on how you have to make a decision, about how regret of decisions or indecisions can damage future decisions. But like others have said, it's not about the best leaf, but the leaf that sings to you, that resonates. He left the one that did because he was looking for some abstract top tier. Look not for the best puzzle piece, but for the one that fits you ^_^

Steyv Level 4 Oct 31, 2017
2

We go wrong when we think in hierarchies. The best, the tallest, the most, etc. We need to think of compatibility, growth, having fun together, being there for each other and having time to be with friends and others. If we search for the most extraordinary we come back empty-handed and disappointed by others. If we look for the tallest then we feel like we settled when we don't bring home the tallest tree. Relationships should be about being kind, being supportive, having fun, open and honest communication, and raising each other up. (But what do I know . . .)

3

Plato would have benefited from the research of the "Secretary Problem". It suggests the optimal stopping period.

[en.wikipedia.org]

"The optimal stopping rule prescribes always rejecting the first n/e applicants that are interviewed (where e is the base of the natural logarithm) and then stopping at the first applicant who is better than every applicant interviewed so far". Easy. Now, bring on the female monkeys!

Thank you, @Monkey

0

Checkout the new bladerunner movie. The main character has a virtual girlfriend....

Jammo Level 5 Oct 20, 2017
4

Wow, I now want to live celibate, except it does not have to be that way. Love and marriage like the tree and the wheat can grow to be tall and prefect through care and nurturing.

You're right about it doesn't have to be that way. I think you are very wise on this 🙂 I was a hopeless romantic and at the same time unknowingly (to myself) hopeless about love so the story resonated with me much. Now I'm more optimistic 🙂

Not if you rip off a leaf or chop down a tree.

0

Sad, but for many people, maybe even most people it is very applicable.

2

Life is like that. My partner of 19 years died in 1999. He was the best leaf and the tallest tree. I know I have missed out on many connections that may have led to something remarkable because I continue to look for the best leaf and the tallest tree that remains hoping to somehow replace my lost relationship. I am 66 now and coming to the end of the field and the forest without a leaf or tree to show for my journey. So now I search more desperately for some one who will just do knowing that I am going to settle for some one less than ideal. I have three candidates on the hook at the moment. Each is flawed as am I. Each has potential as I do. Sometimes you have to work with imperfect to eventually end up with a polished gem.

You were lucky to be with your best leaf and tallest tree for 19 years. Most of the friends I know didn't get to marry or be with the one they truly loved. They just settled. I never had the problem of identifying my best leaf and having my heart unwaveringly set on it...My problem was the tendency of being attracted to unavailable leaves. I hope you will be lucky again and take the tallest tree that has the best leaf home 🙂 With your maturity and the pearls of wisdom you share here, I think's that's quite likely. Good luck 🙂

I'm not typically moved by the loss of a person I've never met, but that was heart-wrenching. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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