At the end of the day, you are doing the right thing, if for no one else than yourself. Besides, if you really wanted a child, you could adopt. There is nothing immoral in recognizing that kids can be a royal pain in the arse. It's not selfish to not want to share your resources with kids. Kids are super expensive to support. Why make life hard for yourself, if you choose not too. Why the guilt, even. I have six grand kids from my daughter, whom I love so very dearly and would not trade for the world as I helped raise them. What I did get in return is maturity, the ability to share with others, patience and insight in to whom I was and who I could become. Those kids mirror my being. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. I live alone and don't get lonely, because I treasure my alone time and to come and go, when and where as I please. You can always hang out with people who have kids and go home when you have had enough.