I'm a funeral director, and trust me, we all will die, no loophole, but to ensure that your wishes are followed, have a will done by a lawyer, and make him or her the executor or someone else you can trust, because dead people have no rights, so to speak, the person you choose as executor is very important because if you choose someone that would give in to pressure from family members, you can't do anything about it. Ive seen it happen a few times, where the deceased's wishes were not folllowed. I have some stories I could tell but it would take too long, bottom line, make a legal will, pick an executor who will follow your wishes (i recommend a lawyer, my executor is the lawyer who is doing my will) The executor has total authorization and legal rights. One more thing to do costs nothing, find a funeral home you would use if you were to die today, make an appointment to "set up a file" No funeral home will charge you to do this, but sit down with a funeral director, get all the paperwork done that will be needed when you die, write a document outlining your instructions for your "funeral, cremation etc)
Specify that you do not want a religious component to the funeral or memorial service) Sign it, date it, have it put in your file that will be kept at the funeral home. Let your executor know the name of the funeral home to call upon your death Tell the funeral home you do not wish to pre pay, you simply want to have a file there for future need. Your executor will be responsible for funeral costs which will be reimbursed by your estate to the executor.

Personally, I do attend funerals, wakes and such. They are for the living to gather and reinforce the bonds shaken by a loved one's death. They bind the group back together, or at least try to do so. Beyond that, I let myself mourn, and I don't try to pretend that I do or don't feel a particular emotion. Indeed, depending on who it is and how they die, you may be relieved. Every death is as different as the relationship you had with that person when they lived.

For your own rites or lack thereof, make arrangements ahead of time -- the funeral and burial plot paid for, or the cremation and disposal, etc -- so that the main processing can be done without family input. If you are interested in cremation, The Neptune Society will pick up the body and cremate it before notifying your kin; you may find a local funeral home that can arrange everything ahead for you, including a local Freethinker speaker.

Q1. how do y'all deal with death of others?

A1. Well here in the UK there's not many religious people left as they've largely died out but when my father died I gave him a Humanist funeral & read this Richard Dawkins piece out at the memorial:

Q2. How do you ensure a nonreligious burial for the nonreligious as us when all are opposed?

A2. Make sure it is very clearly stipulated in your will. (Remember you'll never know if your desires are not respected but any surviving friends or family will).

One of the hardest things about death for me to deal with is no longer being in control. I've done my best to document what I want done with my possessions and body after I die but that may not happen ... and I have to remind myself that I won't know anyway so I shouldn't care. So I guess let them have at their Christian burial if it helps them cope with losing you.

An additional note to having a will at any age: be sure that whoever would be in charge of your funeral preparations knows about your wishes and your will. In many places the will isn't addressed until after the funeral which sometimes happens very quickly after you die. Better yet, do the preplanning at the funeral home that FuneralGirl describes.

Death will happen, can't change that.

1. I'm a humanist chaplain and very much interested in helping non-theists with these matters. Death typically hasn't ever bothered me, though now as an atheist, the true finality is more powerful.

2. there are ways that people can indicate their preferences for ceremonies after they die-one of those is the "Five Wishes" booklet that you write your wishes in. You can also use a will. There is also a deck of cards called "Your Life Wishes, 50 Conversation Starters" to help people have these meaningful conversations with their families. You can also, if you have the resources, pre-pay for your death/funeral planning.

1. life is for the living. You never stop the pain of losing a dear one; you just learn to live with it.

2. Cremation, who cares if others are opposed.

Answers:

1. I treat everyone with dignity at their passing. Always remember the good times with them without any reference to religion.
2. When I cease to exist, I requested that those who have control over my body (as stated in my will) abide by my wishes. But I will never know what they do to me once I'm gone. They could pray for me, something I wouldn't know or care once I check out. Now if it would bring me back, I'd go for that!

The death of others is inevitable, we deal with it the best we can. We all grieve differently, really funerals are more for those left behind than they are the deceased.

To help ensure you have a non-religious burial, you can have it written into your will.

I think death is probably hard for lots of people, but we must just face it will happen one day.

I see death as being more of an emotional attachment to that person or animal. It's the physical part that is so hard to adjust to as they are no longer around. It is all part of the circle of life. Personally, I don't attend church funerals. I will go to wakes but haven't done so since my mom passed over 20 yrs ago. Religious people are more concerned about going to this heaven or beyond place.. then why don't they just end it and go if they want to be with their so called creator so dam bad. Just doesn't make much sense really, so irrational on how they view death.

One should donate their body for scientific or medical purposes and request that their ashes be spread at a particular place. This provides me comfort in that I know my body will be put to good use plus I know that my children would not go against my wishes for disposal. As for the death of others it depends upon their relationship to me. Fortunately my children and my wife are in agreement with my thinking and we will all grieve in our own way.We have decided to live our lives day by day and take the pleasures while they are available.As for death , it is coming some day and I just hope I have the last say in when I die.

drink heavily, cry, "release" tension, poop.
if that person was unreligious they are dead and likely do not care

I agree- your family members will be in a better place; no more conflict, arguments, hate, fear, pain, etc. No more anything except that forever sleep that we all long for, but may not admit to wanting. I'd suggest you read Freud's thoughts about the 'death-wish.' Like many things Freud, I may have hated the idea that there's a part of us that longs for death, but years later I've come to realize that he was correct about most things psychological. As far as burial is concerned, I think if you put your wishes in writing, and have a lawyer handle it, you should be able to avoid any family conflict after death.

I deal with death the same way as most, I suppose. I just won't do them the dishonor of minimizing the importance of their life with ridiculous claims of them being up in the sky playing shuffleboard with clouds for eternity. George Carlin has an amazing take on this subject in his "It's Bad For Ya" special. It won't really help you deal with religious people but it's still fun to listen to:

As for the answer to your second question, like others have said, make sure you have it clearly stated in your will. And you can get a will at any time so if it's really important to you what happens to your body and the ceremony that's performed at your funeral, be sure to get one asap because you never know when your time will be up.

The death of others is a sad, but only to be expected thing. Early deaths and preventable deaths are truly tragic for many reasons, deaths of those who have had a good long time here on earth are much easier to accept. It is funny when different people die in your life what your different reaction to each is, I suppose quite an interesting study could be made of those factors.

To ensure non-religious funeral have an atheist lawyer write-up and be the executor of your will.

When others die, I try to find the things in me that they influenced and if they are important, I reinforce those parts of me. We had an old family friend who used to make carrot cakes for her family at Christmas and included us and it became a tradition in my household. She was such an amazing person. When she died of cancer, I went a few years without and then I decided that I needed to make carrot cakes for Christmas. So now, I make about 30 carrot cakes and 150 carrot cupcakes and give cakes or 6-12 packs of cupcakes to friends and coworkers every year. It gives me peace and joy and has defined for me what I consider the important kind of immortality, to simply make a difference and change people.

For me, funerals are for the living. If my parents outlive me, they can do whatever they wish to find peace. If I get remarried, same for wife and kids, though my wife and kids will be at least questioning of religion but more likely non-religious.

There's never anything that makes a loved ones passing any easier, but everyone has their own coping mechanism. In my case, I dealt with my fathers recent passing in a very internal manner, like with most things in my life (isolated introvert). I don't think the thought of seeing him again would really bring me any comfort, real or not. I try to look at it with as much logic as possible. It's going to happen to us all, and there have already been countless numbers of humans and other creatures who have come and gone. We didn't know we existed before birth, and we won't know anything once we are gone. In some ways, I think death has some hidden beauty to it. It's the completion of a natural cycle, and in many ways, we are literally returning to the earth and the universe that allowed us to experience it for a short while. In that way, I guess, you'll always be with those you have loved in your life.

As for the second question... I say let them do whatever makes them feel better. When I'm gone, I won't know or care. I would appreciate them keep the lies to a minimum, though ("he was a man of god, and now he's going home... blah blah blah, bullshit). It would also be nice to have something useful with my body. Maybe scientific research, or at least let some necros have some fun with me...

1. It’s hard. I still have a hard time when people tell me stuff like “you will see him again” or “you’re in our prayers”, and it’s been six years since my uncle died.

2. Ultimately it is based on if the deceased made prior arrangements with trusted people who will follow through. I have done this in preparation for my funeral. I have two trusted individuals whom I know will follow my wishes, and they’ll keep each other in check Incase someone wants to go off book.

We die. It's a part of life. That's okay.

[atheopaganism.wordpress.com]

1. I think, "Great, I get some free stuff!"
2. I go with whatever the person wanted to happen. Personally, I want a Viking burial and then everyone attending gets a taser and the last person standing gets all my stuff!

I've been lucky that very few people close to me have passed away. The friends and family members that have passed left me with sadness and I grieved like anyone else. I believe that upon death there is nothing... no consciousness, no awareness, not even darkness. All of a person's thoughts and memories are gone.

If you don't wish to have a religious funeral then leave a will with specific instructions on how you want your funeral conducted. You should speak with a lawyer about creating a will. Though keep in mind that a funeral isn't really for you, but rather for those that are alive and I doubt you will be able to eliminate all religion from your funeral. Some people will pray alone or together and cling to religion as a means to comfort themselves as they grieve.

I am a private person. So I told my daughter and son that when I die I don't want a funeral, memorial service. No obituary...nothing. My organs donated. I want no hoopla over my death. My daughter and son were happy about the idea so case closed...

1. Unlike christians I don't personally believe that we leave the earth when we die we are kinda like water you can't see it but it does change form (water, ice, gas). So if some one I knew died I would be sad but at the same time I don't feel like they're really gone we just can't see them right now. If I was dead then I feel like I would wait for everyone I knew to die and greet them and tell them everything is going to be ok and about all the things I saw traveling the world after I died. I wouldn't leave until I have conforted everyone I knew. After I would feel like my unfinished work was done and I could lead a new life with no regrets.
   2.what funeralgirl said