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Is the idea of a nice polite guy a lost art? opening the car door, bringing flowers for no real reason, remembering a birthday or other anniversary ( not ness. a couple anniversary but a first date, first kiss, etc)

I'm open to opinons from everyone but i am really looking for thoughts from younger women 18-35.

Pfr1998 5 Nov 30

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1

Some women find the things you list demeaning and sexist here in the 21st century. I was socialized to do such things, too, and if I were still dating today, I'd find the uncertain expectations to be a bit of a mine field. On the other hand, I don't like women who expect you to read their minds, either, so I'd discuss my way out of it. What are your expectations, I was raised to open doors for women, out of respect -- but if you feel differently, I respect that. Etc. In point of fact my wife doesn't like doors being opened for her and we negotiated that off the table early on.

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Its still common in rural America.

1

Whew. I'm too old.

8

Guys who tout how 'nice' they are is a big glaring red flag.

I am sure that is quite true. I can be quite self-absorbed, unsociable and dismissive but people seem to think I’m okay. I don’t get it!

On the other hand, I've learned that if a guy tells you he's an asshole, you can believe him.

@JimG That's true enough most of the time.

@Geoffrey51 Guys who say they're nice guys, are usually the ones who get bent out of shape if you are not boot licking grateful that they've opened the door. They are the ones who whine and complain that they're sooooo nice, why don't they have a girlfriend. It is because they aren't the genuinely nice guy who is just nice to be nice, they're the ones who expect something in return.

0

Yes, yes it is. In all of the age groups.

0

My experience has been, many younger women, not so much, more mature women, yes. Of course my experience with younger women was a long, long, long time ago. Maybe things have changed, but l doubt it. 🙂

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