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LINK The Lost Art of the Manly Weep - aeon - Pocket

This certainly affects me. I cry once every few years, on average.

Tomfoolery33 9 Jan 4
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2

I weep,on occasion,remembering my late wife's cancer struggles,the hope Radiation and later Chemotherapy would stop it,but it was too little,too late...... So I have 27 years of memories,mostly good,but just before sleep,the bad ones come for a visit.......

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I cry when I hear certain songs, when I watch certain films, etc. I don't care who knows it. At the same time, I don't put on the mask of masculinity. Sure, I do things many consider difficult or stubborn, but I have a heart and it likes to express itself whatever the mood.

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Just a small point of contention. She said it is manly to cry if you slam your finger in the car door. That is exactly when the machoism says you shouldn't cry. See Memes of sports figures crying after being hurt for an example of how it is viewed.

Other than that I thought it was a good read. I didn't know how to cry until I had children. Now if I see something heart warming with kids I well up.

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Depends on what you are weeping about and who is around you when you are weeping. IMO, it is manly to weep in admiration and at the loss of loved ones. With the exception of torture, it is not manly to cry about flesh wounds, a broken bone, fingers in doors, suturing wounds without anesthetic or cauterizing a wound with gunpowder. It is also not manly to cry in a pity party or in a cryfest as the lady expert on manliness promotes.

But what does crying or not crying have to do with being a man, or manly? It's just what we're taught. It's a societal convention that has no basis in fact.

@tnorman1236 Serious answer -> Perhaps. Depending on your society, it can have everything to do with being manly. This then raises the question on what is a man and what is his role in society. Also, it would be interesting to debate what was wrong that societal convention in the first place. Was that character represented by John Wayne all that bad?

@tnorman1236 Not so serious answer -> Its a testosterone thing. Now go watch some 300 and get them hormones a cookin!

@beenthere Re: your serious answer: there's nothing wrong with being what's traditionally thought of as being "manly". In a lot of cases it's what is needed in a given situation, but women can be brave and "manly" as well, and men can be vulnerable and show their emotions when appropriate. It's still about societal roles. Re: your not so serious answer: yes, testosterone and estrogen cause different emotional effects generally, but it's not everything.

@tnorman1236 Well reasoned and written.

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Hugs

Thanks.

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I'm not one to wail and slobber, yet in the last few years it's like I've learned to cry. Usually it's when I'm faced with something beautiful, even in a loss or tragedy, the tears come rather readily.

I've cried more this year than I have in forever. When we had to put my dog down, when my brother died, and when another good friend died, all since August.

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I never thought of it as ''unmanly''.

That's good, but it's what a lot of us were taught when we were young.

@tnorman1236 Yes, my husband included.

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