Last week I was approached by a man and asked on a date. I politely declined, with a smile, and made sure to add that it wasn’t him, I am just really happy the way my life is at the moment, and I am choosing to focus on other things, like school, my career, and my son.

This spurred the most weird debate. His mates eventually joined in, telling me that I’m not really happy. They somehow brought feminists up, how they are ruining the world. They told me my independence was going to make me wind up miserable and alone.

I told them the only time I was ever truly miserable was when I was in a miserable relationship, and they had only met me 20 minutes prior. How could they possibly know how happy I am? As a matter of fact, the man who approached me to ask for a date was attracted to me because of my smile and laughter. His pick-up line was that my eyes twinkled when I laughed, and my smile “lit up the entire room”. So, why now, after I rejected him, does he think I’m an unhappy person?

Today, a week later, he sent me this YouTube video. I could only get through the first 4 minutes before laughing about how ridiculous this all was. And the comment section for this video is astounding, so full of machismo and assumptions on how women really feel.

“When a woman says she is independent and strong, I immediately write her off.”

“All these stupid feminazis are finally getting their equality, and now they are suffering for it, because they can’t handle it.”

“These women are broken anyway.”

“These bitches are unhappy anyway. They are probably crazy. No guy wants a miserable woman like them.”

“These women aren’t choosing to be single. They are just unfuckable, miserable whores that no man wants to deal with their bullshit.”

Wow. Is this how men really feel about women who choose to be single? Why is it that when a man decides to be single because he claims he is happier that way, it’s easily accepted? He’s a guy’s guy. He’s a “confirmed bachelor”. There’s no negative connotation to it. But when a girl chooses to be single because they are happier that way, it’s immediately met with “they aren’t really happy”. Or “it’s not really her choice, she’s just an unfuckable spinster”?

This is another reason I appreciate the men in this group in particular. There was a post a while back, a poll on whether you were single and looking, single and not looking, married and looking etc. Some women said they were single, but not looking. They were quite happy with their lives. The men here seemed to accept those answers.

What is your take on this video, and/or the comments in the comment section? Did this man send me this video because he truly believes I am unhappy? Or did I just bruise his fragile ego, and this is passive-aggression?