I've never found it easy to make friends, and especially difficult to make friends with other women. I'm introverted but outspoken, which confuses some people. But I am very positive, and I smile most of the time.

Being reserved, most of my friendships have started because the other person reached out first. Even if I could get past that, I work from home, so I don't meet people that way. I've found it pleasant to go to some MeetUps, and have in fact found a couple of very fun gaming groups that way (tabletop RPGs, not board gaming). The folks in the games seem content to just see each other for games, though, and not interested in developing actual friendships. (The groups tend to be almost entirely male, too.)

I started going to a local yarn shop to knit in the company of others, and found the regulars to be astonishingly cliquish. They also gossip terribly about whoever isn't present, which tells me that they surely talk about me behind my back, too. That doesn't give me reason to open up to them!

There's a local "geek girls" group that plans lots of events, but most of the active participants are closer to my daughter's age than mine.

So I feel pretty stuck in this "no girlfriends" state as well. If you find an answer, @AtheistLatina55 , please share it!

Do you feel the need to change for yourself, or to be accepted by others?
If you want to change, change, it may take conscious effort at first, stop and think a minute before you respond to anyone but it become auto after a while.

You don’t make friends at these kinds of meetings. You need to go through some shit together with others and bam, you’ll end up having friends. Or you could play games with her and watch her spiral through a series of well planned traps. Don’t ever let yourself be subjugated by some worthless hack.

There are those friends you want to see maximum maybe once a year. Then there are people you wish you could see every day. Sometimes I see a really strong friendship between 2 people and that gives me hope/

"All that being said, I am also highly self-aware and lack tolerance in those who are not."

Here's a good starting point that we, and to be sure others, share. It goes beyond this attitude but still includes it. Anyone striving for personal freedom; for intellectual independence, is going to find strongest rejection by those who identify with a herd and those who are their overseers.

Having friends on condition that you be, even if only temporarily, someone you are not is a lonely place to be. One is better off with a dog or two and just 'being yourself'. Since individuals are rare, meeting others with similar values is equally so. That is what I'm beginning to really appreciate abut this site.

I find the ability to tolerate herd members by identifying with them and their thoughts and fears by reflecting on when I also had them. They are trapped and fearful and suspicious of what isn't familiar or approved by Judas Goat leaders.

"But it is better to fail in originality, than to succeed in imitation. He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great. Failure is the true test of greatness." Melville put it so well. We are best primed for meeting others by displaying our originality with pride. Sometimes it comes off as superiority to those who've chosen hooves over toes. We do tend to become superior at whatever gets our focus and devotion. Some are superior at membership and others at asserting independence.

Members have no difficulty rejecting or showing diminished respect for non-believers. Being a believer transcends mere religion, applying equally to ''isms' that, like religions, call for abdicating or suborning reasoning faculties as the price of inclusion. With 'friends' like that it is impossible to find acceptance. You aren't missing out on anything. Ask the dog.

When meeting new people I try to just be polite and respectful, then you will soon see over time who is decent and who isn't. Unfortunately there are always those we come accross that take a dislike to us and there is nothing we can do. Fortunately I don't respect these people anywhere near enough to care what their opinions are

I find it takes some time to develope a real friendship, a friendship that you can open up to about anything without judgment, and with support. Those are rare. If you have one or two people in your life that fit that bill you are lucky. Your other friendships are probably going to be more social. Those friendships come and go, and while they can be entertaining and enjoyable, don't place too much importance on them. Like any relationship outside of family they require a certain amount of chemistry. Just do the things you enjoy and you will meet those people, or maybe not.????

Don't change to suit others as you got to be you and others will have to like it. you don't want to be fake to fit in.. maybe change your lifestyle.

I've always made friends slowly. At least since high school.

I am more discerning than I maybe once was, but really it is probably putting much more emphasis on my kids. For a long time, the people I met outside of work, were my kids friends parents. They make for good acquaintances but the probability of friendship chemistry and common interest is low.

I have made a few very good friends across those years. The quality of those relationships didn't become apparent until my kids were grown and I was able to focus more on them.

I prefer the few really good friends to lots of less intimate relationships anyway. So kinda works for me.

After devoting most of my life to my children and former spouse.... I find that I am short in the friends department too. I agree with you that it is harder to make friends when you are older. I am working on it slowly though ...... hang in there and keep doing the things you like to do....eventually you will find your tribe!