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Has Porn Become the Ultimate Passion Killer?

With the rise of online porn, increasingly men expect anal sex. Deal breaker.

"You first," I say. "You get fucked up the ass by a well-hung man and tell me how you like it."

That shuts them up. Blindfolding me, slapping, anal sex, rape fantasies: what the hell? Although I am an adventurous person, being terrified or injured is not on my bucket list.

I have never watched online porn because it hurts and degrades women. In my 20s, I saw two porn films. "Deep Throat" was ridiculous- as if a woman's clitoris is in her throat. "The Story of O" was such a horrifying S&M film, I walked out.

"People under 30 are having to work harder to recognize porn is not real. Sex and dating expert Annabelle Knight says:

“Individuals need to be aware that it has little or no bearing on real life sexual scenarios for the majority of people.” Similarly to other online windows into people’s lives – Facebook, Instagram, Twitter – just because internet porn plays out a certain way doesn’t mean sex is like that in reality.

"This disconnect can mean someone’s behaviour might not have the consequences they intended. Sarah says several men she has slept with thought force was the only way to get her to orgasm. It also means that elements often missing from much porn – intimacy, emotion, female pleasure – get left out of sex in real life, too."

[huffingtonpost.co.uk]

By LiterateHiker8
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28 comments (26 - 28)

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1

In a good all round relationship sex can be great. If sex forms the core of the relationship then it is likely to be based on short lived fantasies which can never sustain a meaningful relationship.

0

Count me Somewhat Shocked on at least 2 issues:

  1. (has?) no one mentioned the standard mantra that men are more visually oriented than women (on average, in general)

  2. I guess we'll have wait another generation until all the aspects of sexuality & sex are talked into the ground & no one's interested anymore... Yawn!

guynoir Level 6 Mar 3, 2019

1) yeah sure here is a tip: LOOK AT THE REAL WOMAN IN FRONT OF YOU
2) sorry you don't agree but that doesn't mean the world is broken

@Janiesuper I'm not disagreeing with anything U said.

@guynoir

Stop making excuses. As @Janiesuper said, look at the real woman in front of you instead.

People can overcome genetic tendencies, society pressure, religious inhibition, their upbringing, etc.

How to Overcome Genetic Tendencies

[psychcentral.com]

@LiterateHiker why should differences be ignored or forsaken? Didn't nature give us differences? Celebrate Diversity!!

0

This could just as easily be titled "has the hitachi wand become the ultimate passion killer?"

Porn is just fantasy. Since more men watch porn, then porn is made mostly for men, to represent typical male fantasies.

You have to know that going in. Separate it from your actual love life, and don't let it get in the way of your actual love life.

If you can't do either of those things, then yes, you have a problem. Same with the wand, ladies. If it's ruining your love life then you've got a problem and it's not your partner.

Otherwise both are harmless escapism.

Xuande Level 7 Mar 2, 2019

@Xunande

What is a hitachi wand? Never heard of it.

"Harmless escapism?" I disagree. Pornography hurts and degrades women.

Watch the excellent TED Talk, "Why I Stopped Watching Online Porn," by Ran Gavriel posted by @Stephanie99 below:

@LiterateHiker it's a thing that goes bzzz very effectively, or so I hear.

The idea that porn hurts or degrades women is archaic and frankly, anti-woman.

Are you upset over men and women's sexual imaginations? Yes, there are some people who fetishize things like assault, and a small percentage of porn does show men doing bad things to women who APPEAR to be suffering.

These are fictional portrayals. The power dynamic is not real. Porn also depicts many female fantasies, including the opposite power dynamic. It's a celebration of female sexuality, more than anything.

You're free to find them distasteful, but that's not the same thing as demeaning. Saying that it is denies that women also have similar lusts and desires.

No, porn doesn't demean women anymore than action movies about buff dudes shooting each other demean men. All media is sensationalized and not rooted in reality. I'm not about to stop watching football because it depicts men as big, hulking and strong.

In fact, saying that porn is demeaning to women is demeaning to women. Female sexuality is not defined by what men look at. It's its own thing, and it doesn't matter that men see it or not.

If we lived in a world where porn was demeaning to women, the only non-demeaning sexual encounters would be very unexcitedly vanilla.

If we're going to preach today, let's preach literacy of the media. Understanding that porn is not real life, just like the latest Tarantino film isn't.

It is not uncommon for porn addiction to lead to male impotence.

@Xuande hmmm - rhe poem I’ve seen has a lot of women being subjected to some level of violence: I’ve not met a women who wanted that (though to be fair, I’m long married and what do I know?)

I suspect that most porn is about Male fantasies and has pretty close to zero to do with with female fantasy or desire. Seeing another gormless woman sucking some fellas knob does close to zero for me too. Seeing her beaten, strangled, asphyxiated or otherwise physically abused is an immediate turn off too.

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