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How many of you are in relationships with a religious person and does it affect the relationship in any way?

By TonyAndrews4
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Was married to a Lutheran for over 20 years. We just didn't talk about it much, thankfully he wasn't much of a church goer and didn't bring it up much. As time went on I became more involved in the atheist community in town and I think that bothered him. As did my calling him out on some of the bs in religion.

I got married at 22 and had always just done what was expected of me and didn't stand up for myself. I had really wanted to get married outside, as nature is more my "religion" but he wouldn't get married unless it was in a church. I told him I was fine if he wanted the kids baptized and to go to Sunday school but that would be his responsibility. Guess who ended up taking them for 4 years? My youngest was extremely shy so I'd have to sit through the stupid lessons.

Not sure I would date a believer....


I just ended a trial reconciliation with my ex-boyfriend who is very "new age" so not all that interested in honesty and reality.

It was difficult that we couldn't share the same spiritual or humanly natural values, since he attributed all kinds of magical powers to crystals and light auras and what-not.

Basically, it is just honesty he can't handle - he wanted some other spiritual entity to absorb all his mis-steps - I wanted him to take responsibility for his own actions, own up to them and consciously make an effort to improve negative behavior. Nope.

I think the two could meld together for the purpose of keeping together, but both parties need to be open to philosophical thought, not just following what some meme says or some new age author.

The two spiritual views did not mesh. Not looking for a relationship, but if I ever did, I would only consider a rational atheist with a warm and honest heart and mind.

Julie808 Level 7 Mar 12, 2019

"a rational atheist with a warm and honest heart and mind"

Sounds like a good goal for us all, in ourselves and our partners.


Not currently, but my previous / late wife was still religious, though not stridently so. Rural Methodist. My apostasy occurred on her watch, but it was not at all a source of conflict between us.

I have often wondered if this was inherent or had to do with her having bigger fish to fry (she was, after all, in the process of dying, very slowly) but I tend to credit it to our relationship having to do with our mutual respect for each other, and our shared life not being 100% rooted in church. Indeed, toward the end, church was not a factor because she couldn't attend and the fuckers had no use for her as she was not a source of reliable volunteer labor or $$.

mordant Level 8 Mar 12, 2019

Yes, and yes... but not as much as you'd think. It would be harder if my significant other was making it a central part of her/our lives. Mostly we don't talk about it much. You?

Steve_M Level 4 Mar 12, 2019

I have an interest in a female Christian but I am not sure if I should persue it or not

I'd not write her off, @TonyAndrews. But it would be good to know how central her belief's are to her daily life. I get the feeling many are less religious then they are willing to say.


I was in one that ended last year, because of their geezus thing. I don't usually say never - but for this, never again !
"religious" is one thing, obsessed - with blinders firmly fixed, another entirely.

evergreen Level 8 Mar 12, 2019

I am a devout atheist, and I would only want a relationship with one. I might let a religious woman try to "save me" with her vagina though. She can thank God all she wants!

JK666 Level 7 Mar 12, 2019

I am not in a relationship. I would not consider being in a relationship with a person practicing a relgion. There are many who will tell you their “religion” but who do nothing to practice it. I might consider them.


Not looking but I couldn't do it any more. Just wouldn't work. At some level, we'd have such a big disconnect...


I’m surrounded by southern evangelicals... I don’t date for everyone is married and those that aren’t ...well. So I just don’t date.

Namaste Level 5 Mar 12, 2019

I can definitely understand. Thank you for sharing. ?


I only date atheists. I cannot take a religious person seriously.

The fault may be in my immaturity, but that's how it is. I refuse to intermingle my life with nonsense in the guise of religion.

I know what you mean. Thank you for sharing.

You are completely justified in being so. This is not immaturity, this is reality.

I have often spoken of being married to a religious person in the past without it being a particular problem but hasten to add that if I were in the market for a new relationship I would be unlikely to entertain a seriously religious person or someone whose existential beliefs were not well-considered, which is the same thing by my lights as saying "atheists only". For example a liberal Christian who isn't very devout even by liberal standards, just goes to church on Easter and Christmas or for weddings and funerals, would generally be someone whose existential beliefs are not deeply thought through, and as such, has the potential to go off on some religious tangent later.

Mixed in with this is my sapiosexual nature; curiosity and an open mind are good markers for intelligence, and I can't respect or desire unintelligent people over the long haul.

@mordant That's what I said.

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