You meet a girl (or guy) that seems really nice & fairly intelligent, and the sex is incredible - but then you find out she's very into her religion too .. and she wants you to go to church with her. What do you do?
my answer changed when i saw the details.
bwahaha.
i actually found myself in this situation years ago.
at the time, we both were believers (of some sort, i considered myself "spiritual" and he was a mild born again christian).
and we sorta put the cart before the horse with how we did things -
so i found out about the physical thing before i found out we were not intellectually, psychologically, religiously, or otherwise matched.
at some point i quit believing - but never bothered to throw it in his face -
cause what was the point when only one thing was good between us in the first place -
and we both knew we weren't going anywhere.
i still "prayed" with him before meals -
except when i couldn't take any of his nauseating prayers -
i then called it my turn and did what i do with my grandlittles and simply acknowledged my gratitude for food, water, a roof over our heads, and the banging sex we were about to receive.
a.men.
(wait - i don't give thanks for banging sex when i have my grandlittles - just to be clear.)
that was what i called my "in the meantime" arrangement...
i would not have chosen to do it that way - but i made the best of an otherwise unsatisfactory situation.
The thing is she or he is intelligent therefore they can be deprogrammed, done it before I can do it again; although I do realize that ultimately the only person that can change someone is themselves but like the poll says I am getting great sex.
It would certainly be a test of tolerance !
I do know if I read a personal ad , and they feel the need to mention god several times in their profile, it is a turn-off. To me - if ya gotta have religion, it's like sexual matters, or politics - keep it to your damn self, unless someone wishes to engage !
I met a woman who had drifted away from her strong faith. We got involved, and two years into the relationship she refound religion stronger than ever. It was a major reason we broke up. She wanted me to not only be okay with her new outlook on god but wanted/ demanded I find her religion as well.
I am a very persuasive person, both to myself and to other people, so I would attempt to get the crazy religion out of their head through persuasion. However, if I failed to change their mind I would prefer to suffer alone than to spend a bunch of my life with someone that stupid.
This just happened to me. Sweet gal, but dumb as a rock. Never made it to the sex part. I think she would have wanted to marry if I did. I will try to let her down easy.
..dumped her like a rock, huh ...
I've met long term couples who hold different views concerning religion or the lack of. I would listen and decide if it were worth going long term if religion was a deal breaker then I'd thank her for the great sex and get on with life. If things could work holding different viewpoints I'd certainly go forward as long as things went well. I think being honest and talking about things that matter to us most is very important in any relationship.
I didn't vote in the poll because none of the choices fit my viewpoint regarding this subject. I would not dump her. I would not avoid talking about religion. I would not try and convert her and neither would I feel the need to go to church.
Depends: I do not have a problem supporting other people in whatever gets them through the dark nights - as long as there is no expectation of me agreeing with them. If any attempt at proselytizing occurs - I'm out the door - because it shows a lack of similar respect, and really how good can the sex continue to be if there is only a growing loss of mutual respect?
WINNER!
Believe it or not, I had to come back to visit this topic because it just happened to me too! She said religion wasn't that important on her profile & it really didn't come up as significant for the first week .. then Sunday came around & she was horrified that I refused to go to church with her! THEN, she was even more horrified that I wouldn't continue to have sex with her .. IDK, religious peeps are just plain cooky!
I doubt it would get that far. I tend to bring up religion as a screening tool for meeting people.
So this would mean that they both outright lied to me and disregarded my personal preferences. So it would end at that point.
My wife is a Lutheran pastor. We've been married 45 years. Religion only matters if you take it seriously.
Put it out there that religion is off limits, decide to not discuss it anymore but it won't go any further than the sex and anything else you have in common but it will never be a true relationship that would turn in to anything serious because they are a theist.
I would say thank you for the invite but no thank you. The dating stage is the "getting to know you", part of the budding relationship. I don't expect anyone to substitute their beliefs for mine and vice-versa. If the relationship has potential then there would be lots of conversations. If it doesn't have potential then it will fade. No harm done.