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More of a venting post:

What do you do when you have family members (or friends) who you try to have conversations with but they always have to be "right" even if it's something based on opinion? I feel like ever since I told my sister I was Agnostic she always has to feel super defensive around me for some reason. To be fair, she's ALWAYS been that way even before I started becoming more liberal and agnostic. But now I feel like we can't even talk anymore and it's really disheartening...my mother took me not being religious really well but her and I can have honest conversations and even peaceful debates and be okay.

I guess another example could be like a friend of mine who is dear to me but sometimes even when she's plain wrong she has to go out of her way to prove she's right. I was talking to her once about someone getting a tattoo and they used Loose instead of Lose and she was pretty much telling me that I was being a jerk cause you can "technically" use those words to mean the same thing. And it's not like I was being rude about it I was just trying to explain the difference and she kept interrupting me so I just gave up (it sounds like I was doing the same thing as her, I wasn't I was trying to explain myself but she wouldn't let me). I guess it's just more annoying than anything and hurtful since I'm so passive and it makes me feel like I did something wrong when people get super defensive. If I get in situations like this what I do is usually try to drop the subject but when I do the other person is super irritated and mad at me. I get stuck because with defensive people they won't hear you out but at the same time I hate not being able to stick up for myself more...

LadyStardust96 5 Nov 10
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6 comments

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1

Certain people are stubborn. Just try not to loose (whoops) I mean lose your temper when dealing with them. It's frustrating, but as long as you understand that you trust your opinion, you'll be fine. If they're not willing to see things from your point of view then they have no right to get upset when people don't accept their opinion.

1

Here's some suggestions, cho[o]se all or none or a combination:
Tell yourself you're a genius (If you aren't, who cares, if you are, ha!)
Adopt a sense of arrogance, of dismissiveness
Do push ups or weights or get into an intense League of Legends match while they get in your face about it. "Hold up, let me just take the damages and I'll address your points after..."
Change the subject with wit ("If you can't choose to lose, then you lose to choose" And they're like, "the fuck?" And then you're like, "Whatever dude, all I know is that I have bars" and if they confront you on that: "You're not a rapper!" You pull out a Snickers and say correctively, "Chocolate bars. And I have a wrapper." They can't argue with facts in front of them. Keep the trolling if you can, what are they gonna do, punch you in the face? Maybe you need that. You've ever seen Fight Club?)

Haha this is great. No I haven't yet oddly enough

1

Unfortunately that is just the way some people will be. Just keep their behavior and habits in the back of your mind so you know what to avoid or expect. It's surprising how these things come out when you change or question beliefs.

I used to be able to talk to my father about anything and wouldn't as much with my mother. After deconversion... It flipped. I can't talk to my father or he flips out. My mother is totally open and likes to listen.

1

One of my brothers is like that. We just don't talk to him all that much.

I came out as gay in the mid 1980's and most of the other gay people I met had issues with family. They and I, simply sought out good honest friends, who could give the support our families refused to give. In a sense, creating our own "families."

My criteria for friends was based primarily on how honest they were, the more honest the more open I'd be to getting close to them.

2

I accept their ignorance and try to to illustrate though my beliefs differ, they are every bit as valid. This tends to fall on deaf ears.

4

It sounds as though you may need different people to talk to...

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