Agnostic.com

5 1

I have 3 cowards in my family, the 3 oldest.
I am the youngest of 5, my brother who is 3 years older than I, has been fighting basal cell cancer for the past 14 months.This past Wednesday we were told that the experimental immunotherapy they've been trying isn't working. He's terminal.
The oldest flew in for 6 days, and spent 90 minutes with him, then proceeded to spent 2 days with the cousins.I called him on the 4th day to see if he was coming to visit, he was Waiting to board his return flight, without even calling my dying brother. The 2nd oldest sister also spent 90 minuted with my brother as she had driven my older brother to visit. My middle sister hasn't visited at all, she texts him and sends memes consisting bouquets of flowers and thoughts and prayers.They have all bitched at me that my brother never returns their calls or texts. I have had to remind them on multiple ocassions that he's on treatments and multiple pain killers, so they need to realize He can't always remember to respond.
So it's been left to me to help him plan his death and cremation, and make a Will..Here's my question, Is it too much to expect them to visit him Before he dies for more than 90 minutes? To show some empathy and love and respect for Our brother?..I am devastated..and emotionally shattered..thoughts?

Charlene 9 Mar 11
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

5 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Not too much to expect. They sound like dicks. It is good to know that you are there.

0

The only thing I can say Charlene , is that he is lucky to have you .

I can't imagine Not being there for him.I just have No clue how they justify to themselves..it really hurts him..and angers him. Which I have to clean up afterwards when he breaks down crying..
And thanks..

1

If this is how they are acting now, don't expect them to change. You do what you can for your brother; trust me, while your other siblings may have regrets, YOU won't, and that's all that matters. Take care of yourself, let your friends/coworkers be there for you (accept ANY help they offer; you need to take care of you so you can be there for your brother), and remember it's okay to cry and feel bad in front of your dying brother. He may be acting strong for you, and seeing you show emotion may help him do the same. Your goodbyes may be sad, but this will end with both you and your brother knowing you were there for him. My best to you.

Thanks Vixen..we actually do cry together, often.I do have to try and keep to myself together as I'm his P.O.A..so I need to deal with financial and medical issues..it's the down alone time that I have a hard time dealing with the emotions.

1

Not at all but if they can't handle it for whatever reason maybe its better if they stay away,Thanks for being human and sticking up for him when he needs you. Big virtual hug!

Thanks..I do appreciate the hugs..

0

Every family has that one "carer" whom the others seem to rely on to keep things ticking over in situations such as this. I know that doesn't help and there's nothing I can say that will; but please remember to keep looking after yourself while you're going through a difficult time too.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 11, 2018

Much appreciated Jnei..I finally cried today for a bit..perhaps I'll get some sleep tonight.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:35653
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.