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Careers that involve travel

Curious as to how others have handled situations such as the one I have found myself in a few times.
I am a student of Egyptology and will be going on a dig this coming season.
I have had dates in the past where the men tell me that I would have to quit if I wanted to have a future with them. Of course I don’t go for that sort of ultimatum.
I have come to the point where I bring up my career right away and ask if my date if we end up “serious” would be willing to either go with me when I go out for a dig (be it for a few days or the entire dig) or if he would be satisfied with staying behind while I go out for the season and waiting for me to return. Now some think that is too forward. But I rather know what they are willing and not willing to do before investing my emotions and time.

Has anyone else dealt with similar issues?

23 comments

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Who the fuck would not want to travel! I suggest you say upfront that you will be on the move and would love the company, but come he’ll or high water you ARE going on digs!!! Btw it’s silly that a man would expect you to follow them in today’s world. Travel now forget everything else. You’ll be a better person. Never settle!

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I have the same problem where guys expect me to make all these sacrifices and be avaliable all the time but that isn't how mama rolls. As someone who passionately wanted to be an egyptologist since first grade, screw them. I'd love to go with on a dig just for the experience (you know Chris Naunton? I'm a friend. He's super.)

Yes! Well somewhat. We had a nice back and forth in email years ago, before I had my little bungee accident. He is awesome. I hope to actually meet him in person one day. One of the only reasons I have Facebook is for communication and sharing with the Egyptology community.
Do you know Maria Nilsson?

@MeriMaat I do not, but I've heard of her.

@LadyAlyxandrea that is who I will be working under. I’m going to try my hand at a few positions besides just digger. smile001.gif

@MeriMaat good luck!

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"I am a student of Egyptology and will be going on a dig this coming season.
I have had dates in the past where the men tell me that I would have to quit if I wanted to have a future with them. Of course I don’t go for that sort of ultimatum."

I hope that by "don't go for that sort of ultimatum" you mean "tell them to fuck right off and kick their arse right out the door"!

More or less yes lol
Last time I just laughed in his face and said goodbye.

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By the way . . . what kind of misognynist, insecure, knuckle dragging, control freak asshole tells a woman that she "has to quit" her dreams if she wants a future with him? How you didn't put your middle finger in his face and say "die childless and alone you unfuckable cretin" is a credit to your patience.

Lol. I get that ultimatum often along with the one about needing to get rid of my animals and helping rescues.
Perhaps it’s because I’m short they think I am a child to bully.
smile009.gif

@MeriMaat : you're too kind to these genetic dead-ends.

Lol I try to let kindness guide me but believe me I can be mean but it takes a lot to get me to that level smile009.gif

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I believe on getting your cards on the table right from the off.

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I'd want to go on the dig with you! That would be a great adventure. But, I wouldn't quit my career if someone expected me to.

Exactly. It should be sharing, give and take, push and pull. Not my way only or give up and conform smile001.gif

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I’d steer clear of anyone who asked me to quit my preferred career.

Exactly why it’s one of the first things I ask 😁

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Nope, never been in that situation, but I think that is a reasonable conversation to have to weed out the "traditional" suitors who treat women like second-class citizens and expect them to sacrifice everything to be together. That kind of compromise should be based on other factors, or may not be an issue at all if both parties are ok with spending long periods apart.

Agreed. That is sort of my thoughts, use it as a filter for those that think I should stay at hone smile009.gif

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It's been my experience that this is not uncommon for many academics. If you date, are dating, someone else who is in academia (a professor or grad student), they'll understand that this comes with the territory. If not, then they should learn to accept that this is likely to be part and parcel of dating you.

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This is definitely something that should be discussed early in the relationship, but maybe the 1st date is a bit premature. You don't even know if you like each ther yet. Relax, have some fun, and hold those "do you want children" conversaions for at least a few dates. My career happened after marriage and did require a lot of travel for short term (one or two weeks), but fortunately my wife was OK with it and did travel with me when possible.

Well I am doing online dating so I figured that I would put it in the dating profile.
I mean my career is a huge part of my life so it is not easily danced around. smile001.gif

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I was in an analogus situation where I travelled every week, away at least 4 days. I was married at the time and there were no secrets about my travel. It was hard. Then when I started managing a team based in Palo Alto (I lived just South of Seattle) she was insistent that we move to the Bay Area / Silicon Valley. It was so long ago that I don't recall if she made an ultimatum. My terms were that she needed to have a full time job as the cost of living was so high (she had not worked full-time before). Any job at any pay as long as it was full time.

We moved and it was ok for a while when most of my clients were in the Bay Area. Then when my teams were more regional, national, or global and I would travel more often, it became a problem again and was one of the things that ended our relationship.

I think you should ask. A man who also travels might be an ideal fit for you. Good luck!

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Astro-physicist. Going to infinity...and beyond!!

Your an Astrophysicist? 😮

No...smart ass, yes. I'm a fabricator.

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Being up front at the start is best. A lot of musicians who are on the road all the time get ultimatums, including myself. I might have been disappointed, but I couldn't blame them if it is not what they wanted in their life. Time goes by much faster for the one on the road than for the person waiting at Home.

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Sounds like an exciting career. What do you.think about the study of the Sumeria? Or is it to dangerous right now? Do you worry about ISIS?
Oh, yeah, welcome aboard.

I study Egyptology. So I would not to say on Sumerian or Mesopotamian history or culture.
daesh is not a problem where my dig is but they are terrorists and bullies we have those here in the USA too so why would a foreign version be worst than the other?

@MeriMaat I was just wondering, we hear a lot, just like to know from someone that's actually there that isn't part of the media.

@Clare where I will be is literally in the middle of no where lol you have to travel to Luxor then take a boat past Aswan then climb cliffs and hike in the desert. We have a person that does a supply run once a month, because it takes a couple of days to travel back and forth. smile001.gif
It’s very picturesque and calm. If I could I would stay there forever

@MeriMaat now, that is an adventure. I would never give that up. Your living your dream and I am envious.

@Clare thanks. It has been a long road but definitely worth it!
smile001.gif

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Happy digging smile001.gif

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I only WISH I could go on a dig... that'd be so cool!

They are a lot of fun. But to each their own right? I have a friend that thinks it’s horrible that I ruin my nails and fingers by playing in the dirt (see only teases) lol

my dad got me started on looking for arrowheads. it would be a dream if i could 'look' for relics in a historic place such as egypt. i LOVE that kind of shit - no shitting. it would just be the idea of it being a little dangerouos for an american in egypt that would discourage me. but being an archaeologist or something along the line would be a fucking dream...no kidding!!!!

you probably don't believe me when i say i would give up a lot!!! you are one lucky young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thats a stupid ultimatum. But I understand your situation. Im in the military and capable traveling on my own for at least six months. I’d hate to leave anyone behind for that long.

I can imagine. I have had two experiences with dating military men. One was decent but he wasn’t wanting to have a serious relationship.
The other....well he had a woman at every base.
I don’t let that effect the way I view military persons. But I know it is a sort of stigma. Just ease into a relationship I think, no strings and see how it goes as you are gone for a tour and then become serious if it goes well. But that’s my opinion, maybe something else will work for you. However I completely understand the “seasons” in Egypt are anywhere from 4-8 months depending on the site.

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He needs to drop everything and follow you around. No? Bye.

No. I would never expect everything to be dropped like that. I just ask for someone that would be willing to go with me or be okay with my leaving for work in Egypt for a few months at a time.
I don’t think a compromise is too much to ask for but so far it seems to be for many men 😒

@MeriMaat Spoken partly in jest, but I'm actually kind of jealous.

@GeorgeRocheleau oh I know. The last part of mine is sarcasm; something that gets lost on in the text smile009.gif

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I don’t have this situation, but I do have a parallel where an early discussion is necessary. What I’ve found is that stating things up front or too early, will almost always result in everything ending before it even starts. You get judged on that one thing alone, without the other person knowing if you’re worth the effort.

My suggestion is to wait a bit and get to know each other a little. Then, when you tell him, he may think that even though he didn’t think he’d want a relationship like that, your wonderful self is totally worth it.

Ah by then My Dear Lady, the ginger may well be gone of the gingerbread man. But I imagine I can always take it intravenously. James

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A bpdust bin collector? James

??

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For myself, being polyamorous makes this a moot point, though obviously the choice would have to be a mutual decision on both parties behalf. Unfortunately, judging from your profile it would appear that is not something you'd abide. Regardless, I wish you luck in finding your match. smile001.gif

How boring and dated polyamorous. I myself am multi- poliamorous. James

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