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Careers that involve travel

Curious as to how others have handled situations such as the one I have found myself in a few times.
I am a student of Egyptology and will be going on a dig this coming season.
I have had dates in the past where the men tell me that I would have to quit if I wanted to have a future with them. Of course I don’t go for that sort of ultimatum.
I have come to the point where I bring up my career right away and ask if my date if we end up “serious” would be willing to either go with me when I go out for a dig (be it for a few days or the entire dig) or if he would be satisfied with staying behind while I go out for the season and waiting for me to return. Now some think that is too forward. But I rather know what they are willing and not willing to do before investing my emotions and time.

Has anyone else dealt with similar issues?

By MeriMaat
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23 comments

6

Who the fuck would not want to travel! I suggest you say upfront that you will be on the move and would love the company, but come he’ll or high water you ARE going on digs!!! Btw it’s silly that a man would expect you to follow them in today’s world. Travel now forget everything else. You’ll be a better person. Never settle!

Joshuahenley Level 5 Mar 13, 2018
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4

I have the same problem where guys expect me to make all these sacrifices and be avaliable all the time but that isn't how mama rolls. As someone who passionately wanted to be an egyptologist since first grade, screw them. I'd love to go with on a dig just for the experience (you know Chris Naunton? I'm a friend. He's super.)

LadyAlyxandrea Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
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@MeriMaat I do not, but I've heard of her.

@MeriMaat good luck!

4

"I am a student of Egyptology and will be going on a dig this coming season.
I have had dates in the past where the men tell me that I would have to quit if I wanted to have a future with them. Of course I don’t go for that sort of ultimatum."

I hope that by "don't go for that sort of ultimatum" you mean "tell them to fuck right off and kick their arse right out the door"!

Jnei Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
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3

I believe on getting your cards on the table right from the off.

LeighShelton Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
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3

I’d steer clear of anyone who asked me to quit my preferred career.

Marz Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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3

Nope, never been in that situation, but I think that is a reasonable conversation to have to weed out the "traditional" suitors who treat women like second-class citizens and expect them to sacrifice everything to be together. That kind of compromise should be based on other factors, or may not be an issue at all if both parties are ok with spending long periods apart.

IAMGROOT Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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2

This is definitely something that should be discussed early in the relationship, but maybe the 1st date is a bit premature. You don't even know if you like each ther yet. Relax, have some fun, and hold those "do you want children" conversaions for at least a few dates. My career happened after marriage and did require a lot of travel for short term (one or two weeks), but fortunately my wife was OK with it and did travel with me when possible.

WayneMan Level 3 Mar 13, 2018
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2

I was in an analogus situation where I travelled every week, away at least 4 days. I was married at the time and there were no secrets about my travel. It was hard. Then when I started managing a team based in Palo Alto (I lived just South of Seattle) she was insistent that we move to the Bay Area / Silicon Valley. It was so long ago that I don't recall if she made an ultimatum. My terms were that she needed to have a full time job as the cost of living was so high (she had not worked full-time before). Any job at any pay as long as it was full time.

We moved and it was ok for a while when most of my clients were in the Bay Area. Then when my teams were more regional, national, or global and I would travel more often, it became a problem again and was one of the things that ended our relationship.

I think you should ask. A man who also travels might be an ideal fit for you. Good luck!

shockwaverider Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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2

Being up front at the start is best. A lot of musicians who are on the road all the time get ultimatums, including myself. I might have been disappointed, but I couldn't blame them if it is not what they wanted in their life. Time goes by much faster for the one on the road than for the person waiting at Home.

Sticks48 Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
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2

Sounds like an exciting career. What do you.think about the study of the Sumeria? Or is it to dangerous right now? Do you worry about ISIS?
Oh, yeah, welcome aboard.

Clare Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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@MeriMaat I was just wondering, we hear a lot, just like to know from someone that's actually there that isn't part of the media.

@MeriMaat now, that is an adventure. I would never give that up. Your living your dream and I am envious.

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Happy digging smile001.gif

Wildgreens Level 7 Mar 14, 2018
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I only WISH I could go on a dig... that'd be so cool!

SeeCanU Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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my dad got me started on looking for arrowheads. it would be a dream if i could 'look' for relics in a historic place such as egypt. i LOVE that kind of shit - no shitting. it would just be the idea of it being a little dangerouos for an american in egypt that would discourage me. but being an archaeologist or something along the line would be a fucking dream...no kidding!!!!

you probably don't believe me when i say i would give up a lot!!! you are one lucky young lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

Thats a stupid ultimatum. But I understand your situation. Im in the military and capable traveling on my own for at least six months. I’d hate to leave anyone behind for that long.

RandyMoose Level 7 Mar 13, 2018
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0

He needs to drop everything and follow you around. No? Bye.

GeorgeRocheleau Level 7 Mar 17, 2018
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@MeriMaat Spoken partly in jest, but I'm actually kind of jealous.

0

I don’t have this situation, but I do have a parallel where an early discussion is necessary. What I’ve found is that stating things up front or too early, will almost always result in everything ending before it even starts. You get judged on that one thing alone, without the other person knowing if you’re worth the effort.

My suggestion is to wait a bit and get to know each other a little. Then, when you tell him, he may think that even though he didn’t think he’d want a relationship like that, your wonderful self is totally worth it.

miffy Level 5 Mar 14, 2018
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Ah by then My Dear Lady, the ginger may well be gone of the gingerbread man. But I imagine I can always take it intravenously. James

0

A bpdust bin collector? James

Leon Level 5 Mar 14, 2018
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For myself, being polyamorous makes this a moot point, though obviously the choice would have to be a mutual decision on both parties behalf. Unfortunately, judging from your profile it would appear that is not something you'd abide. Regardless, I wish you luck in finding your match. smile001.gif

gardenRobot Level 3 Mar 14, 2018
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How boring and dated polyamorous. I myself am multi- poliamorous. James

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