Buttigieg is getting criticized for being a type of gay man America doesn’t understand.
"Since entering the field, initial appreciation for the South Bend, Indiana, mayor’s relative youth and rolled-sleeves Midwestern energy has given way to a sense in certain incredulous quarters that he is robotic, overly polished, McKinsey-calculating, somehow fake."
"Critics of Mayor Pete’s demeanor don’t recognize that his persona reflects the consequence of living in the closet, or “packing away his feelings,” as he put it to The Daily. Despite eventually coming out, getting married, and being the first openly gay man on the Democratic presidential primary stage, the coping mechanisms that he developed from being in the closet did not immediately vanish.
"When people criticize him for being calculated or robotic, I see the familiar traits of a gay man who had desperately tried to live in both worlds."
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That may well be part of the reason Mayor Pete presents the way he does. However, much as the writer is trying to justify, even to his gay audience, why Pete is this way, I can't help but chafe at this label as a denigration. "Packing away feelings" isn't limited to people who are closeted. Some said the same thing about how Obama presented. They just can't win for losing, can they? Personally, I'm well past ready for someone in the White House who can control their emotions, maintain decorum, and internally process what they say before actually saying it.
Lauren
Level 8
Nov 26, 2019
1
I actually criticize him for having horrible policy and engaging in racist behavior. Why criticize for the intangible when there is plenty of tangible?
Charles7600
Level 4
Nov 26, 2019
0
WHAT racist behavior? You must be a Republican.
Closeted gays are the only gay folks that America understands - simply because they, like most of America, lie just about every day about thier own sexuality. For reference see Graham, Lindsey, senator S.C. who, for the record, I think is controlled by the fear that someone in the GOP will out him as gay so he's the biggest toady they have. He could just be evil, but I like myg complicated little fantasies at times.
Being honest about ones sexuality is the easiest way to confuse your typical American. Sorry. Pete.
1of5
Level 8
Nov 26, 2019
3
I like your fantasy (and I think you're right)! Well, plot twist ... nothing says he can't be closeted AND evil. 
I'm sorry your nephew's going through this right now, @Sealybobo. It's a lot to handle for someone so young. Too many kids are killing themselves, and it's a travesty that they have to go through their problems alone. It's why I support the It Gets Better Project. Perhaps it's our ego that tells us we can detect the inner thoughts of others, when most assuredly we can not, unless they choose to share them with us.
@Sealybobo I'm glad she explained that, and didn't try to hide that she'd had those feelings.
There are a number of reasons someone may take their own life, and I think bullying, and parental and peer pressure are a couple them. But there's also mental illness. Clinical depression can be hard to spot - it's not always the kid in the corner cutting themselves. Sadly, too, that after surviving war time intact, members of the military have a higher suicide rate than the general population. We fail people all over the spectrum it seems.
I think one of the best ways to take action is what you're doing: talking openly and frankly with your nephews, and letting them know they can come to you about these things.
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