She spent most of our marriage trying to get back to who she was before we met. Can you relate?
I think I know what she meant. Before I met my kids dad, I had a career path planned out, a handful of friends, and spent most of my time reading, drawing or painting. During the time I was with him I gave up my career plan, had kids, lost touch with most of my friends and stopped reading and creating art. Life took a weird turn and I lost who I was in pursuit of being a partner and a mom. I'm just starting to get some of myself back but its taken a lot of work.
My ex was an obnoxious person. When she decided she fancied me she changed totally, gave up smoking, lots a lot of weight, became nice to people, stopped partying.
I was flattered and eventually we got married had kids. 13 years after we got married, she decided she was only acting that way for me and told me she was going back to who she really was, and she did. She said it was all about her, my needs, kids needs didn't matter. hmm, seperation withing 12 months, divorce a few years later.
It seems common in humans to want to get back to the way things were in the past instead of moving toward making a better future. We tend to view the past through rose colored goggles and not see that the past is behind us for a reason and to make things better we can only look toward the future.