Often believers are annoying to me at work but here lately I find the comments made by them amusing and very laughable. Maybe it’s my confidence improving while I educate myself about different religious views. For instance, my coworker who recently got hired makes a point to invoke god into every situation. I was discussing my shoes that I ordered wouldn’t arrive until June 1. She replied, “that’s funny I had ordered shoes that arrived earlier than I expected. Won’t gawd do it!” Of course I couldn’t even look at her without completely laughing in her face. She probably hadn’t ordered any shoes and I don’t know why she thought I would care about her personal experiences with gawd. This is almost everyday. The first comment was about covering herself in the blood of Jesus would protect her from COVID-19. That’s when I knew she was completely out her noggin.
5
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2 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I find a useful trick is to substitute the word god with another fictional character, such as Peter Pan, and the look at just how bat shit insane that makes their pronouncements.
Our Peter who art in Never land
Blessed be thy name
Thy tree house come, thy will be done
In Bloomsbury as it is in Never land
Give us this day our imaginary bread
and forgive us out trespasses
as we forgive those who take the piss out of us
And lead us not in to Captain Hook and the pirate
But deliver us from crocodiles
For thine is the Never land the fairy dust and the glory
Forever and ever because you never grow up, except for that one time when you turned in to Robin Williams for some reason
Ramen
LenHazell53
Level 9
May 19, 2020
3
Substitution is a great way to get that "deer in headlights" look on someone. Our local drug store has a checkout clerk who says, very loudly, after each customer checks out; "Thank you, and HAVE A BLES-SED DAY!" Finally I'd had enough of her BS, so I said in the same volume and tone, as much as possible but not as high pitched and annoying, with my palms joined over my chest; "And may Siddhartha Gautama bless you as well! Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa!" ...........there was a long pause, and you could see the bewilderment on her face, her eyes went blank, and the fake smile slowly faded from her chalk-doll madeup face, the pause became awkward, and she finally turned and without another word to me, said to the next person in line, in that same annoying tone, "Yes Ma'am, may I hep you?" (hep southern for help) It made my day! ☸ Larry in western Kentucky (Heart of the Bible Belt and 3 hours from the ARK!) Come on, FLOOD! 
@Justme43 I love this one. Just so you know Michigan is just as bad. In Detroit it’s a church on every corner just about. Further out you have mad Catholics with huge crosses tattoos on arms and such and your over the top Protestants. Oh can’t forget the evangelical nuts who wonder into my job and tell me how gOd is going to bless me.
It seems they ‘need to know’ if you’re ‘on their side.’ Otherwise, how can you be trusted? They’re a very insecure lot
Varn
Level 8
May 19, 2020
2
Yes I have noticed that they are very insecure. They have a lot of reasons to be when I don’t give them the typical “gawd is good” response that comes from the majority of people in my community. I’m not in mental shackles anymore and it scares the bejeebus out of them. Lol
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