i like to think my folks did ok. once I was in my 20s I remember my father saying that he raised me to be independent and he allowed me to own my own mistakes. he wondered if he had done too good a job. once i was in my 30s i overheard my mom say to a friend how i was an old man even as a youngster. our home was very stable and my parents were always very generous, loving, patient, etc. to my brother and I.