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So here a loaded question, how does the group feel about pornography? And I mean for adults, people over 25, I don't want to get into the whole warping young people thing

soa 4 Apr 7
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18 comments

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I think it’s a waste.

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People in America have a much more wrapped view of sex because of religion than because of porn. I even see it regularly on this site of nonbelievers. They can get away from God, but still carry the hangups about sex brought on by religious teachings.

1

Maybe it's just me, but porn, conceptually, feels diminishing -- to me, and to the people depicted. Also, it seldom depicts anything but utter fantasy, what people apparently wish sex was, rather than what it actually is. So it takes your sexual aesthetic and your idealizations further and further from reality. In the real world, people aren't that horny, undistracted, uninhibited and sexually obsessed. If they were, and we could have sexual release on a whim with basically all comers, is that what we'd really want? Don't we want it to be special in some meaningful sense?

Finally, there's the simple fact that very often the workers are exploited, underprotected, and underpaid. And it seems to me, inherently damaged by the unnatural world they exist within. Often, people regard employment in the sex industry as a last resort of the desperate. There's a reason for that. And I don't like to contribute to that sort of thing.

Is that a misconception? I mean it might be true in some cases, but there are exceptions, Stormy Daniels comes to mind. Also it plays into that fallen women narrative that you yanks seem love

@soa I had both men and women in mind, really. Stormy Daniels is, actually more credible a businessperson than Trump and more credible in general than most of our legislators. So sure there are self-made people in the sex industry who choose to be there and don't like feel like victims. However ... I find it difficult to believe it's a first choice for most and that, for example, those who appear to be (probably often are) underage are not being exploited.

@mordant I'd agree that it's not anyone's first choice, and I'm also positive that some are being exploited, but sadly you can say that about most industries, the adult industry being the most obvious.

@soa Yes, my son in law is looking for work and interviewed for a skilled woodworking job that he was astounded to find pays $13/hour with no benefits. That is below the generally accepted "living wage" of $15 with benefits. And there are enough desperate people with the skills that I guess they can get away with it. Just one example of how people get exploited in prosaic jobs. The difference being, that in every other industry aside from the sex industry, you get to have the integrity and personal sanctity of your own body. Maybe you can't afford to take proper care of it, but you don't have to offer it up sexually to random strangers for the vicarious pleasure of others while pretending to be enraptured about it. I think I could tolerate a low-paying factory job way better than a high-paying sex performance job. And have a much easier job of explaining it to my children. But again, maybe that's just me.

1

It is a loaded question because it requires dissecting the porn industry. Is every person a willing participant or were they forced or manipulated into it? Then we have to factor in drug usage, gender bias in the workplace, pay inequality, having to face being a single parent without the necessary resources and what that person experienced as a child - did they move a lot, was it a broken home, were they sexually abused and so on. We have to factor those things in because when a straight male is willing to make a bi-sexual video because it pays more or when a lady makes a video titled "sex with my step-dad" or "punished wh#ore" we have to give some thought to what motivated that person to make that video and if it's the demons in their closet - it's not consensual nor if you are perceptive should it be a turn on.

Porn is great - but it's best when it's recorded by a horny couple that simply wants to share because it turns them on to know that others are watching.

2

I’m currently single. Generally like to take care of myself in the morning. BUT I hate waking up in the morning so I usually don’t have a lot of time. Porn helps speed things up. To me that’s no big deal. But if it replaces real, available intimacy? That’s an issue.

0

I have notthing at all against it, never been into it at all. Never the Playboy or Penthouse mags, never had them in the house, and same now, no porn in the house. That said, there are a couple of ladies who have bequeathed me their computers and old hard drives to ensure they get wiped and family never see them.

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As a replacement for intimacy? Hardly, I'm just sick to death of hearing it be labeled as an evil of society. That been said it saddens me that women don't enjoy it, but the content is can be very misogynist, some much it makes me uncomfortable, seems there is a very fine line

soa Level 4 Apr 7, 2018
1

It's fun both as an alternative to real sex and to share, but it's not a replacement for intimacy.

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I love it, but it frustrates me.

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I don't watch it.

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I used to be a fan--it was like any other toy in the drawer: just another tool to enhance the experience, good for a lark every so often. (I was never into porn for solo flights. Literature was more my speed there.). Never consumed much; it was a novelty.

In recent years I've lost my taste for it. I think it might be exciting to watch people perform the act because they want to perform the act, for its own sake--like at an orgy or swing party or something--rather than because they're being paid for it. That really does not appeal to me anymore. It's fake, forced, over-exaggerated, they're not really enjoying it...ew.

Additionally, I think there may be something potentially psychologically damaging about watching people have sex, once it crosses a certain threshold. In real life, how many people, how often, could you possibly observe having sex? You'd have to either be a peeping creep, or find willing exhibitors. You'd have to arrange time and space for it. You couldn't have that hour after hour, on demand, every day, in the ease and comfort of your home.

Social creatures that we are, exposure to certain stimuli effects us--in person, via video, audio, photo, or drawing. Movies are rated for this reason. Violence, cruelty, sexuality... there's a point at which it becomes too much, harms us.

That said, let grown folks do what they want. I don't want anyone telling me how to live. Wanna destroy your liver with alcohol--your lungs with cigarettes--your libido with porn--you do you. Just don't interfere with my life, liberty, or happiness, and you can do whatever you want.*

  • rules and restrictions apply

Re: Psychological damage.
Consider that for the vast bulk of our evolution we were exposed to others shagging. Any harm would by now be baked into the human condition.

@RobAnybody How many? How often? Doing what kinds of acts? People who watch hardcore porn 4+ hrs/day are not replicating natural conditions--not even close. I'm not talking about a little porn here and there when I'm talking about "harm"--hence crossing "a certain threshold."

@stinkeye_a Point. Although what the threshold is remains to be established and may well be down to individual differences.
Also it is arguable that those watching 4+ hours of hardcore (if such really is damaging)(1) already have the damage and that the behaviour is just a symptom.
Also, is this a 'Rat Park' scenario? Where external factors cause the behaviour and once those factors are removed the behaviour resolves itself.
(1) It's already established that excessive screen time is damaging. To what extent we don't know. But that damage occurs regardless of what you watch.

@RobAnybody Ah, Rat Park! Groovy little wrinkle you've tossed in. Thinking...

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To each their own.
As long as everyone is of legal age, able to give their informed consent, and no one is being
harmed against their will, no one should have anything to say. I'm not going to judge anyone
for how they get their rocks off.

0

If our young people are warped, and l need you to clarify what you mean by warped, it is becuase 'grownup' Americans are so completely backwards when it comes to discussing sex with each other or their children. Pornography ain't the problem.

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I say do as you will. We can spend our days judging others for things don't matter, or just let people do what they want with their own bodies and time.

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First, what may be porn to me, may not be to someone else.

With that said, I don't really care for it. My last boyfriend had a porn addiction so bad that he would download anything without even looking at it. Anytime he was on the computer he had at least 6 live porn streams going at all time. In the end, he would rather be online sexting and watching than spend any time with me.

Even with that, I can't really say I will ban it from my house, but if the person I'm with ever prefers fake over real I will drop him.

3

I hate to say it, but everything in moderation. Unless you're single, lol. But seriously, I don't think it's harmful unless indulged in to the point that sex with an actual human is a letdown.

1

I don't like it, but I'm a woman and most women don't.

THINK the taboo for women in their 20's, perhaps 30s, has pretty much disappeared and the term 'most' may not be correct for them anymore. Several 'nice girls' I've questioned about the subject freely admit they occasionally enjoy it when they find the kind they like.

@WeekiWacheeMax

1

I find it mostly boring, with poor plots and ridiculous dislogue and terrible music. On the rare occasions when I do watch it, I hae to mute the sound.

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