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Saying "grace" at someones house?

How do you guys act when you with with someone else's family for dinner and they all hold hands to say grace?

My dad always told me to just hold hand, be polite, and let them do their thing. But we don't close our eyes and bow our head or anything.

Thoughts?

JohnDoe206 3 Oct 4
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24 comments

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7

So long as they aren't asking me to lead the prayer, or expecting me to say something, I just hold hands and go along with it. If you are a guest, to a certain extent, It's the house rules...unless they are over the top. Unless of course you don't want to ever be invited over again, then you can stick to your guns and make a big stink.

6

I would just sit there and wait for them to be done with it.

Exactly what I do

3

I don’t bow my head, or close my eyes either

3

Awkward...always awkward, but i just play along, think about other things in my life while theyre saying it

3

I'm almost physically incapable of being impolite but I don't have any friends, let alone religious ones :-/
I'd keep my mouth shut and my eyes closed. ..........

2

I handle it the same as you, however, in my family we DO say grace. Stick with me on this one....

While we do not express our thanks to the God(s) "for all that they have given us", or hold hands and bow our heads in prayer, we do practice mindful appreciation for the the fact that we do have food to eat, for the farmers who worked to make our food, The truck drivers who move that food around the country. Gratefulness for the fact that we live in a society and a country where we have accessibility to clean (usually) water and food, for gainful employment that allows us to procure the food, and the home to prepare and enjoy it. We express thanks for the fact that a family member made the time to purchase the ingredients, and prepare the meal and bring it to the table all for the good of the family. God may not have done any of that, but it didn't appear out of nowhere either, and we're certainly not entitled to any of it.

In all things religious I try (key word) to remember that even when I think the thought process and attribution is horribly flawed, there can still be value in the teaching if you're willing to examine it with an open mind.

2

I had this happen to me this past Saturday night at my bosses house. My boss lives quite a distance from where we work, and I had casually mentioned that I had been on several dates with a lady I met online who lived near his home, and things were going well. He asked me to invite her to dinner. My date was excited to meet my boss, so she agreed. Everything was going great, and then he asked me to lead "the supper prayer." I was in shock. I was prepared to hold hands and even bow my head, but I wasn't ready or willing or even capable of leading the prayer. I tried twice to turn him down politely, but he isn't the type to accept a no. I have never felt so threatened about telling someone that I didn't believe. Needless to say, my date won't return my calls, and my boss wasn't as friendly with me today at work. Now I have two people at work both different but similar issues that dislike me, and one is my boss.

2

LOL I look around to see if anyone else is just looking around at these people mumbling to themselves=) Then, I chuckle a little=) The funny thing I noticed is the food doesn't taste as good as unblessed food=) Go figure!

I actually do the same thing honestly, I will look around as they start saying it and just remain quiet cause it's just... respectful to not bother it. I'll hold their hands and do it and won't usually say amen.

1

Depending on who you are with, I usually participate in as much as I hold hands and (silently) go around the table saying (in my head) what I'm most thankful for about each person. That's my prayer. 🙂

1

That is what I am doing in that setting, I hold hands and watch the people around me, thinking how can they be so gullible ?

Erika Level 2 Oct 4, 2017
1

I just go with it. I never have to lead it, and the only place it happens is at my grandparents house, so its not a huge issue.

1

I’d go along with it, and then start mumbling satanic verses =D

0

I go with what everyone is doing if I am a guest. No matter the religion. In my family sometimes they ask me to do the blessing and I give a general gratitude statement without invoking a god.

0

I've never been a the hand holding while saying grace situation. If ever were, I guess I would hold their hands just to be polite. When people are saying grace (mostly at Christmas), I just kind of look around the room until they're done. I don't make it too obvious, but they have their heads down and their eyes closed so it's not like they can see me anyway.

0

You can't reason with someone who is in a religious coma, just pretend you believe in their Santa Clause and keep the peace. Don't swat bees when you are in the hive. Come to places like here to get relief and vent. I can't be real with my family because my families beliefs are not real they don't believe in evolution and the believe that the bible is true, so frustrating!

0

It is truly annoying. I have a brother-in-law that just rambles on and on and on and is just so uncomfortable especially when he starts thanking jesus(small j) for .everything i just sit there and just thinking "I can't wait until this is over". We've stopped going to his house at holidays like x-mas and thanksgiving..

0

Tough situation for sure. I have an aunt that is a mother superior at a convent and she has had me out to do work for the monastery, which has lunches for the people who work there. In those situations I try not to ruffle feathers, obviously they are pretty set in their convictions. At my brothers house when they pray I'm not as prone to capitulate because it's less likely to cause a major problem and those present may benefit from the discussion. I think it comes down to choosing the battles wisely, sometimes you're outnumbered and sometimes you've got a chance.

0

I don't even say a word. We must tolerate their religion, but I am not going to give in to a belief that is not mine. God doesn't give people food. It's people who have to work HARD.Why replace the natural for the supernatural?

0

You are in their house as a guest. Your dad is right. Silence is not consent.

0

same, i'm supporting of people's stupid ideas and silly customs but won't barrade them unless they barrade me

0

If I'm at someone else's house they most likely will already know I'm atheist and don't expect me to join in. Otherwise I let them do their thing. I will not bow my head or close my eyes. If they take issue, I'll leave.

0

I'll hold their hands but I won't play pretend with them. I'll listen and respect their moment. If they were in my house, I would expect the same respect.

0

I do the same thing. Just remain silent while they do their thing.

DeiP Level 5 Oct 5, 2017
0

All my friends know my views so I would be polite And just sit there and be quiet but I'm not going to participate.

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