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Dating in religious areas.

Has anyone had a hard time dating due to your lack of religion? I live in Tennessee and I have had some pretty negative experiences with women thinking I’m great until they find out I don’t believe in god. What irks me more is that often times they don’t even go to church anymore or really practice, it’s just lip service religion. A couple times I’ve had a situation where she didn’t much mind but had more religious friends who campaigned against me and buckled under peer pressure. What are your experiences?

TimothyNovelo 4 May 8
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I live in Tennessee as well, and there are a lot of great Christian girls I could date if I was a believer. There is one I would love to ask out, but I feel like it would be a mistake as god and church are important to her but are no longer for me and things would not end well if we got into relationship. I have been an atheist now for a few years, it is kind of difficult here in the deep south to date as a non religious person.

I had a relationship for a few months with one girl who was a Christian, but as soon as I told her that I did not believe in going to church every time the door was open like her family did, she was gone. At that time, I was still in the process of deconversion, but I knew that I could not worship the church building like that. Since then, I have avoided dating religious women, and as a result have not dated much in the last year or two. Hopefully I can meet more people who do not believe in the supernatural.

Thepro Level 2 June 10, 2018
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I live in Oklahoma and my luck has varied depending on what stage of the relationship the subject comes up in. The first few dates it tends to drive them away, but after they get to know me it tends to be less of a problem as I am generally mild mannered and quiet

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I live in Saint Louis, Missouri and have experienced the very same thing. In fact, a short-term relationship just ended (we met on Match), due to her not being ok with my not participating in religious services and rituals. i've found that overwhelmingly in these parts, you tend to be immediately branded as undesirable the moment you even hint at a non-theistic worldview.

@iamjc I lived in LA for 30 years, so I'm very familiar with the real world. But family health issues with my mom have brought me back to the buckle on the Bible Belt, so for the moment at least, I have to make the best of it.

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Living in Oklahoma has made me fully aware that I'm clearly in the wrong state if I want to date anyone.

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I totally understand. That's why this site is needed!! Always be yourself and don't be with someone who doesn't respect your beliefs and holds them against you!

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Not gotten to that point in my dating, but seen lots of very interesting women on dating sites I passed on because of the must love god first thing.

“Must love god first”. Congratulations you have a bunch of honest and reasonable people weeding themselves out.

Same here only from men saying, "Must be a Godly women." Nope...move on!! LOL.

I can't begin to tell you how many dating site profiles I've come across that say "God is my #1 guy!" I constantly fight the urge to write back "Really? Then perhaps God will be willing to pick up the check for dinner."

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Good grief that sucks! You've my sympathies.

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I live in Utah and it's one of the major issues with dating. It's either, they are Mormon, or they have some other major hangup like drugs or something. Though I'm fairly introverted and don't meet many people so my opinion probably doesn't mean much. I just hate feeling like the odd one out in the dating scene.

I’m sure Mormon country is a hard place for it. They are even more tight knit and clut like than mainstream Christianity.

Time to set a goal and MOVE !!!

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You bet. In the South it was horrible, I was treated like a serial killer by most women. Tennessee is even one of the States that forbids atheists to run for Public Office. Yep, the law is still on the books. I moved to Colorado, where things are a lot better, but there are still a lot of women who won't have anything to do with someone who is not Twice Born™. I had a couple of dates with this lady and we were getting along fabulously until she asked me where I attended church. When I clued her in, she could not get away from me fast enough. She even said, "I can't be seen in public with someone like you" and then could not understand why I took that as an insult. -True Story

O.....M....G 😮 Awful!!!

The silver lining is you see their true colors before you’re deep in with them.

@TimothyNovelo This is correct. We just had a dinner at an expensive restaurant and I was hoping for some heavy breathing later. Religion is the great divider. Anyway, I did dodge a bullet with this nutcase.

@GuyKeith Yikes, expensive restaurant. I'm sorry. Depends on your def of expensive tho I guess. I'm fine with coffee at first as of this writing. That would have saved you some grief and frustration.
Save the impressing thing until that basic detail is out of the way for sure. But once you find that someone who ticks most of the boxes, don't ever make the mistake of going on "auto pilot" or bleep dies.

@Qualia Well, two people, two George Washingtons. Meal and a bottle of Cab. I didn't mind, the meal was spectacular and like I said, we were really getting along until religion got in the way.

@GuyKeith What a shame 😟

@ki-bee I use Twice Born™ and Religiously Impaired™. I think I invented the second one.

Obviously uneducated to respond like that to you. Don't give up...there are plenty of educated women to take her place!!! You just haven't met her yet!

I hear you! I was dating someone and we shared many things in common. But over dinner one night, I asked her what type of man she would never date and she said without hesitation "I would NEVER date an athiest!" ("Check, please!...)

@ki-bee I always insist upon coffee first in a place with clearly-marked exit signs. ?

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I broke up with my ex last friday because of religion. Not a big deal. 😀 i know one day i will find a normal person. At least we have the chance right? 🙂

That’s right. No quitters here.

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Raise your hand if on your dating profile, you used euphemism for the religion question such as: freethinker, humanist, spiritual but not religious, etc. 🙂

Nope. Strong Atheist.

OK, I admit it. I've listed "spiritual, but not religious" and "humanist;" a cowardly move, I know. I guess I figured a rational discussion about (or lack thereof) would eventually transpire, should things get to that point. (OK, I also wanted to get more dates). But I came to discover time-after-time (at least in these parts) that not having a religious affiliation and holding a non-theistic worldview tends to be a dealbreaker, no matter the level of compatibility in many other areas. In my experience, religious tribalism has served to separate people far more than it has to bring them together.

@EltonRon You captured my thoughts and experiences exactly. It doesn't seem to matter if the prospective date is a hardcore Xian, a Xian lite or Xian in name only, they automatically reject you if you're a non-believer - as though that qualifies you as the devil. This phenomenon applies in the big city as well as small rural areas. When I substituted "no religion" with "spiritual but not religious" I got dates again and the subject doesn't even come into play at all again. Weird!

@jujuofthesea It's become the new norm. Some athiests don't help matters, though, since they turn atheism into it's own form of tribal , touting themselves as superior in a form of intellectual elitism. My brother Dale, a humanist author ("Athiesm For Dummies," "Parenting Beyond Belief," "In Faith and In Doubt" ) and blogger sees these sorts of rabidly aggressive militant behavior from athiests all the time, so certainly does not hold a monopoly on non-tolerance. Unfortunately, those sorts of behaviors only serve to make the problem worse. Say "no " on a dating site and you bear the Mark of Cain (ironic reference intended).

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I've been dating a Christian for the last couple months. Though we have discussed our differences, we've agreed to respect one another's stance, and shelve the religion thing, as we have many more things in common than not.

Every now and then I slip, and jerk him around a little in fun (can't help myself), and being as he's pretty solid in his faith, he handles that just fine. Would I prefer he was not a god person ? Sure. Yet, he treats me so well, and is such a good guy, I am choosing to carry on ans see where it goes ...

Good luck to you !

I’m glad you found a good one. I have plenty of friends who are religious so I know not everyone has those hang ups, but sheesh, it’s just one more thing to worry about in the minefield that is dating b

@TampaHeathen Don't blame you ! It seems that many churches think that everyone out there needs to give them money. But that one is easy - only let them have what YOU think they should have on behalf of your wife - not you, a non-member. uh-uh

I love hearing stories like that. In my case, my lack of has been a dealbreaker on more than one occassion, despite levels of compatibility in other areas.

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Same but with friends

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