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I have read some of the posts about polyamory. There are so many different variations of it. I have asked some people about it, and I got a lot of different answers. One recent variation I learned about was a woman I know who went outside her normal polyamory "friends" to pursue a married man she wanted to have a sexual relationship with. She did not go into details with me about her normal polyamory friends, but I wonder how they viewed this. Is a person able to do this, and still call themselves polyamorous? It's just another twist in the polyamory story.
She ended the outside relationship after a short time, she told me, because he has not told his wife about what has been happening. I wonder if she was being fair with this man by not telling him about her polyamory until she decided to end it. I think had she told him from the beginning, he would have had time to contemplate, learn what he could about her lifestyle, ask questions, and then make decisions based on any information he could get. What does everyone think?

Griff414 4 Dec 23

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Yes, she did mention "hook-ups" as well, and said she does that, too. Therefore, I don't think she has it right when she calls what she is practicing polyamory. The married guy was a hook-up. Then when their relationship got too close, she told him she was polyamorous, and ended it. She never gave me any details other than that. Perhaps she said that to make him feel better, or herself, who knows.


Depends on the relationship the two had. If it was just a "hook-up" there is no reason to "tell all". Bottom line, tho, is that if there is a real relationship possibility, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, just to be fair & show respect. I'm a long-time Heinlein fan, & he brought up some interesting points about different forms of "marriage" & relationships. We humans tend to get all confused about sex/relationships, mostly because we are still an evolving bunch of primates & because or culture is permeated by religious & sexually repressive "norms". We, as a race & culture need to grow up, in many ways, & I belive humanism & secularism at least get us on the right track.


Ok, thanks for the clarification. I was thinking the same thing myself, and to me it just sounds like she was "dating" more than one person. She did not tell me the extent of what she and those people tell each other, but when she started up with the married guy, it moved into adultery, and away from polyamory. That's what she called it, though, so I don't know what she is thinking.


ummm, I really don't get what this has to do with>>>> Polyamory is the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. It has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy". What your friend engaged in is what I would refer to as unconsensual sex, cheating. The wife having no knowledge of the sexual relationship was there for a non-consensual participant. As my label, cheating.

"I learned about was a woman I know who went outside her normal polyamory "friends" to pursue a married man"

This statement leaves me dwelling over the use of polyamory or actually her being a swinger. Although some would argue there's a thin line between these groups of people, but polyamory being referred to mostly as a relationship based on a more substantial commitment.

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