Question

I never would have guessed so many gentlemen didn' t want kids . I have been "vested" with all kinds of insults -from bitch to criminal- for no wanting kids.....and these insults came mostly from men.
I was about 12 y/o when I said for the first time kids were not for me. My mother almost passed out
As several gents here, I was over 30 when I found a person who agree with me.

#mother #kids

duchessa1 7

Answer 1

Re “I never would have guessed....”

Decades ago, on a coffee date with a therapist, I said I had grown up in a sometimes violent home and had decided to have no kids cuz I might do what my father had done. Her saying many men had told her that surprised me.

Answer 2

In college I met a woman who, like me, didn’t want children. Lucky me. We married and had none.

Answer 3

I'm over 60, and here in farmer country, it's very rare that I find any women without kids, and almost as rare, that I find any women in my local dating pool my age on Match that will even accept a man without kids for dating. I have been told that one factor is that women who grew up here just see a childless man as too "oddball" or non-conformist for them, that it raises red flags for them that he may be defective or dysfunctional, in their eyes at least, in other ways besides being childless. I even had a woman today on Match tell me, in rejecting me, that she said I "raised huge red flags" for her by being childless and that I was therefore "not interested in anyone but" myself.... I told her that for one thing she didn't even know me, as we only connected today, and that I was very close with and interested in my longtime local friends, even if I am not involved with my family of origin. I did not appreciate her hostility and insulting language she used with me in messaging and I reported her to Match for insulting and inappropriate language and hostility. We'll see if they do anything to me or report to me. I just think it was an arugument over opposing views that quickly escalated on her part into an attack of criticism on me for being different than the mainstream. In other words, the good old, " for me to feel right about myself, I have to prove you are bad and wrong, etc.".....

Answer 4

At least you live in NY, where way more women think like us than do in the Midwest. Here the farmer's daughter mindset is so prevalent that it's hard to find a woman at any age that wants a man who is childfree or not into kids. I got used to it when I was dating as a young man, but am astounded how much it still matters to women even when they are in their sixties and long past having kids or even living with them in almost all cases. Never thought I would still be paying for my decision in the dating game at this age and be mostly undateable, at least in my local dating pool, because of it.

Answer 5

I never ever wanted kids. They are expensive, they will wreck your car, and probably marry someone you don't like.

Answer 6

Is the first sentence supposed to read wanted kids instead of didn't want kids?
Either way, kids are the pits. You made the right choice.


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