For me the impact of bullying was worsened by the fact that I internalized and believed a lot of the negative feedback. I figured I must have DESERVED the crap that other people were shoveling onto me. It's been many decades and I still have to fight not to tell myself the same negative things (and new ones, even) that I heard all those years ago. I wish someone had told me I could have fought back, but I never asked for advice and so suffered alone. The anger I felt all those years ago is also still bottled up inside me. Don't know what to do with THAT at all.

I was traumatized by bullying and emotional abuse when I was younger. My quiet sensitive nature made me an easy target. Acknowledging this has helped me to understand why I was so shut down and mired in depression for so many years, and why I would continue to take abuse for so long. It's brought up bucketloads of sadness, but also given me greater compassion for the person I was and the one I'm becoming.

all this is foreign to me

Are you a member of the Abuse Survivors group? There are many wonderful and caring people in there who would offer support. If you're not a member, check it out and consider joining! [agnostic.com]