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I finally came out to my parents when they saw my tinder has both men and women on it. My mom asked about it and I said “Maybe I just like talking to women and think they’re pretty.” She was like “I don’t think they’re looking for just friends”. I said “Well, Maybe I’m into both women and men”. Apparently in my parent’s opinion that was shoving my beliefs in their face. All I did was try to tell them who I really am..I love them dearly, but I don’t know why they are so set in their ways about this. They cared less when I came out as an atheist, and that’s with my dad being a pastor.

pan_heathen97 7 Nov 22
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Don't concern y yourself with your parents've let them know that you know who you is up to them to deal with it...get on with your life, you can only be responsible for yourself...good luck to you.


I'm sure that your parents already knew, or at least suspected. You are dealing with their initial disappointment. If your mom ans dad dealt with your atheism, they will deal with this too, hopefully. Give them some time to resolve their own insecurities and when they are ready, answer their questions without being defensive. Don't volunteer too much, parents normally want to know as little as possible about their children's sex lives.

glennlab Level 10 Nov 29, 2018

I am sorry that your parents are not accepting of who you are. But, I hope you enjoy having this weight lifted off of your shoulders. I can't imagine it was very comfortable. At any rate, you have all of us that support you. I got your back too.

I would say this, if you're feeling down or kind of bad about it, channel that energy into poetry or prose. That's what I do. Earlier this year someone I knew who was on winter break from the University of Pennsylvania was killed by a Nazi. I channeled that frustration and that anguish and anger into a few poems and it made me feel better. I by no means intend to equate coming out to murder, but whenever I have to deal with something, no matter what it is, poetry always seems to help. Maybe it will with you. Just a thought.


Brian_Blum Level 4 Nov 26, 2018

Just a small did your parents see your Tinder?

Olnoseven Level 7 Nov 25, 2018

My mom was being nosy and looking at my phone screen when I came over for Thanksgiving break.


Sorry. It takes even supportive parents time to reconcile their expectation with reality. That’s a rough period but I hope dawns into acceptance. If not then seek out your local LGBTQ Center for resources. Best of luck.

rainmanjr Level 8 Nov 25, 2018

You responding to your mom's direct questions equals " shoving it in their faces?" I don't think so. But give them time, ....and yourself some buffer from their reactions until they sort through their own hang ups. Good luck!


It's never easy to come out but congratulations on living your truth. It takes time for them to come around. Good luck from a fellow LGBTQ person


Hopefully they will get better in the future, but good for you, that you could be that open! You're my hero, and you rock!


I told my 3 that i would support them regardless whether they liked boys girls or whatever.


Good for you for being honest about who you are!

UUNJ Level 8 Nov 22, 2018

I’m sorry for the reaction from your family. I came out as bi and atheist last year: all at once. The atheism got much more disapproval, disappointment, and mini lectures(not that any of it affected me, lol). My mother is dead, but my dad told me he had always known I liked both sexes. I was 57 when I finally came out to him and my family. Most of them are evangelicals/fundies.
Good for you, for your honesty and bravery in speaking your truth! I found it freeing...once it was over!


Congratulations on coming out the closet. If I did that with my parents it wouldn't gone well or telling them im an atheist. I wish had some of your courage.

freedom41 Level 9 Nov 22, 2018
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