This is a Job Hunt poem I threw together for a humorous speech contest. Later, I also used a copy of it in an Artist Trading Card. Sadly, some of the poem is true.
I love to work I really do
I love to hunt for new jobs, too
I love to sweat, I love to shake
My brain shuts off as my nerves quake
I answered the ad, they want an interview. They have some questions, but only a few.
I’m prepared - I can do this I know. I swallow my fears – on with the show.
Question 1: “What’s your name,” they ask. “Name? Yes, I have a name” I react,
cough “I just don’t remember it now.” I don’t know why they stood and said, “Ciao.”
I love to search for paying things to do. My resume’s embellished through and through.
“We want a responsible person here.” “I’m the one you need, have no fear.
On my last job, I was so credible,
When things went wrong, they said I was responsible”
I love job ads. What do they mean?
I love the jargon – it’s so routine!
“Flexible hours?” Don’t make me laugh. Work 40 hours, get paid for half.
If “problem solving skills are a must” you can expect almost constant chaos.
I love this game. I do. I do.
I could spend all day telling you.
But now I’ll share a little advice. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it twice.
Be honest, be truthful, just be yourself.
There’s a workplace out there that wants your help.
The interview is where this applies. I’m really smooth after so many tries.
“Were you ever arrested?” “No,” I honestly reply
And I’ll answer, “I was never caught” should they then ask me why.
“It’s fun to work. Let me be clear. There’s lots of know-how in my sphere
As proof I’m no goof, I had 10 different jobs just last year!”
I type and write ‘till my fingers bleed. I answer calls ‘til I’m ready to plead.
I fill their forms. I take their tests. I think I need I nice long rest.
Yes, I love to search. I love to hunt.
I love cold calls, but let me be blunt.
I love those friendly men who’ve come today, in clean white coats to take me away!!
Maybe they have a job for me ...