Agnostic.com
2 5

TODAY, ANOTHER UNIVERSE
by Jane Hirshfield

The arborist has determined:
senescence      beetles      canker
quickened by drought
                           but in any case
not prunable   not treatable   not to be propped.

And so.

The branch from which the sharp-shinned hawks and their mate-cries.

The trunk where the ant.

The red squirrels’ eighty-foot playground.

The bark   cambium   pine-sap   cluster of needles.

The Japanese patterns      the ink-net.

The dapple on certain fish.

Today, for some, a universe will vanish.
First noisily,
then just another silence.

The silence of after, once the theater has emptied.

Of bewilderment after the glacier,
the species, the star.

Something else, in the scale of quickening things,
will replace it,

this hole of light in the light, the puzzled birds swerving around it.
Allamanda 8 Mar 22
Share
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

2 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

Contrary to other commenters, I found this to be beautiful and as deserving of being called poetry as anything that has ever been so called. Nattering over what requirements must be met for its labels is just mental masturbation.

Fine, let's not call it poetry. Let's call it painting, and bemoan the lack of brushes. Let's call it a choir and complain about the robes being words. I'd take it home and hang it in my aviary, and come let it light up my face when the natterers got too loud outside. I'd drink it with wine and starlight.

I particularly like the lack of verbs. It was jarring initially, as I assumed it was a mistake, but then I noticed I was hearing them anyway and I found it quite pleasing. Hanging all of the imagery there with no action builds up the setting for "a universe will vanish". Also, "The dapple on certain fish." Lovely.

I especially like the last part of the last (sentence? stanza?): "this hole of light in the light, the puzzled birds swerving around it." It's my kind of twaddle; I am invested.

We should figure out how to make this platform format things the way you want it to so you can post more non-poetry. I am curious about where you'd put the breaks in this one.

Garen Level 2 Mar 27, 2020

@Allamanda Ah I missed that. Well now I have some exploring to do. Thanks for posting it!

0

Pretentious twaddlle in my book, I'm not sorry to say.

Petter Level 9 Mar 23, 2020

@Allamanda In my book, poetry requires a meter, and preferably also a rhyme. Here's what I once wrote about it:-

POETRY ?

Using words
Which neither scan
Nor rhyme
Is prose.

Using obfuscate,
Imposing,
Posing words
Is still prose

The wordsmith who
would seek
To blind us otherwise
Is a prosaic poet.

Using words which scan
Though they do not rhyme
Is to write with skill
But the work is prose.

The lines may lilt
Upon the ear
But the lines are prose
‘Poetic Prose’.

Lines which scan
With words that rhyme
Make a work of art;
A work sublime.

True poets write
With symmetry
That, indeed,
Is Poetry.

Petter Finne
24.06.2009

@Allamanda It should not be called poetry.
This passage does not even make sense. As I wrote:-
Using obfuscate .... Imposing ..... Posing words .... .... is definitely prosaic.

"having or using the style or diction of prose as opposed to poetry; lacking imaginativeness or originality."

Recent Visitors 11

Photos 45 More

Posted by EntheogenFanI wrote this about a crazy girl who I loved like crazy. She made my entire life feel like insanity.

Posted by AllamandaNot in the current meaning of 'dog-whistle' but I think people will like this poem.

Posted by TO_BYEntangled Particles

Posted by TO_BYGraphis (Graphic Poem)

Posted by TO_BYGraphis (graphic poem)

Posted by neutralite[youtu.be] today... was a day. ✂️ Squeak in the music room on this site, that's what to do.

Posted by RemiforceDEATH IS SO FINAL--Youth La Boheme days in our small boyhood town, drinking cheap wine, smoking grass all night in some artist's studio, staggering forth into the bleary translucent twilight dawn.

Posted by RemiforceWHEN MY BROTHER LEFT FOR NAM--We looked across the field of death & maiming, in our youthful half knowing, the war raging in the media suddenly close & personal,like a car crash We drank to ...

Posted by RemiforceMY AGE IS IMPATIENT.

Posted by BohoHeathenThis is just a poem of past experiences.

Posted by PetterAbstinence indeed!

Posted by AstralSmokeWanting Wanting to be broken utterly split apart with a mighty tearing like an apple broken to unfold the delicate open veined petal pattern inside the fruit .

Posted by MiizzunderstoodWE WILL BE HOME SOON MOM.

Posted by Stargazer13And this is what you mean to me… That I see beauty and feel lovely in a dark, broken and rusted world Because you love me, I’ve been brave And opened into full bloom beneath the gaze of ...

Posted by Stargazer13Dog days are over Picking every four leaf clover Gonna break out of every box they put me in This soul is hungry and divine sugar my sin Personal evolution Fated love the revolution Raw ...

Posted by Stargazer13I've heard the stories of your empty world Devoid of soft touches And the rare souls that cross lifetimes, to see again through eyes captured in silent and consummate knowing I've listened to ...

  • Top tags#poetry #world #god #hope #death #soul #hell #Song #dream #memories #religion #fear #earth #friends #dogs #moon #religious #cats #sleep #money #rain #children #pray #dance #mother #reason #Jesus #wife #lonely #video #kids #Atheist #truth #poets #parents #sacred #stars #evil #book #flowers #community #sin #ghosts #Bible #holiday #wars #books #smoke #eternity #society ...

    Members 226Top

    Moderator