This is a poem I wrote about a year ago when I was still a Christian. It’s similar to my last poem, but it’s a bit darker and more personal.
Enough of the heartbreak, enough of the pain.
Just let me live one day where I’m feeling sane.
I hardly can stand all these thoughts in my head.
Far too much overthinking and wishing I was dead.
Why can’t I control it and let it be still?
Avoid the confusing, and yet it never will
just leave me alone and let me feel free
of this weight on my shoulders that is crushing me.
My head is crammed full of the struggles I bear
and yet the world does not seem to share
in the things I experience every day.
I wonder if anyone else feels this way?
Afraid of just dying and ceasing existence,
yet fear of eternity caused resistance
in trying to follow the Christian way
and yet I’m still trying every day.
I don’t feel happy with what I am doing
and yet lack motivation for really pursuing
the things that I love because I feel I can’t
although I might try if I had better chance.
I feel stuck in this world I’ve created
by not being able to stay concentrated
on what I know is best for me
but with a mind like mine, will I ever be free?
9
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Posted by EntheogenFanI wrote this about a crazy girl who I loved like crazy. She made my entire life feel like insanity.
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