@Closeted

Sorry for the rant...

I was raised Christian but, thankfully, I didn't experience the brainwashing. My parents were lax enough with it that we only really went to church and didn't bring it home too often. Even in church, though, I was always drawing or coloring or whatever my Mom brought to keep me occupied, so I didn't really pay attention. When my parents divorced my Mom and I just kind of stopped going. As I got older, I started to see more and more how terrible the people I was raised to be like were.

Even my Mom says stuff sometimes that gets under my skin. I was telling her about an old friend of mine who is Atheist now and she said she feels bad for people like that because they're going to Hell (she obviously doesn't know that I'm Agnostic). She thinks gay people are also going to Hell. She believes that other religions, even other versions of Christianity, are wrong and comments on how their practices are just crazy, yet fails to see the crazy in her own beliefs. She has said some very racist things. She never really liked the fact that I lived with my husband before we were married. She actually made me keep it a secret from my very Christian family for EIGHT YEARS! I slipped and said "goddamnit" in front of her once (I was fucking 30 at the time) and she yelled at me and later gave me a "I just wish you had turned out differently" speech.

That made me feel real fucking good about myself, as if my Mom doesn't love me as much as she would if I were some church going fool. There's stuff that I don't like or comment on on Facebook because she somehow sees everything that I do and I don't want to upset her more. It's a real struggle to deal with sometimes. I don't mean to toot my own horn (well, maybe ?) but I think I'm a pretty good person. I have morals. I don't smoke or drink. I don't party. I play video games and stay home. I've never been arrested. I'm kind to and accepting of all people, LGBT+, black, white, whatever. I see the individual. If and until they do something to prove that they're not a good person, I don't have a problem with anyone. I believe that there is good in all people. Drug addicts, alcoholics, felons, homeless, the poor, are ALL still people and I wish they could get even just half of the fucking help they need. I love animals and do what I can to help them. I'm creative and open minded. I'm fairly intelligent and capable of thinking for myself. I even use correct grammar and punctuation on social media (GASP!).

Yes, despite all that I just said, I am just the most terrible person! Religion is bullshit. It's a way to get out of caring about others, an excuse to be terrible. "Homeless man? I'll pray for him! Pray that he finds the strength to turn his life around! Give him money? Ha! Why would I ever do that? He's just going to buy booze with it!" "Protesters? Don't they have anything better to do? GET A JOB, HIPPIE! They shouldn't be allowed to do that!" (And my favorite, said proudly by my boss) "Just shoot 'em!" "Overdosed? Good. They deserved it." "GAY? You're going to Hell, you know. I hope you enjoy torture for eternity, idiot!" They strip the humanity from other people while pretending to be superior. If that's what God teaches (newsflash, Christians, he doesn't) then why WHY would you ever follow him? "I just wish you had turned out differently", fuck off.

I am so SO tired of hearing these awful things. They wonder why more and more people are straying from religion. Maybe because a good majority of us figured out that being terrible sucks and we just want to be good people? Good for the sake of being good, not "I gotta do this because I don't want eternal punishment" good.

@Closeted I'm so glad you understand. I've unfollowed almost everybody on Facebook, lol. They're either annoying, needy, religious, or stupid. I still can't figure out what my Mom did to be able to see all of my activity. She even sees comments I make on pages she doesn't like because she reacts to them often. Don't get me wrong about her, I love my Mom very much and she's always been there for me, but sometimes she can be a little much to handle.

Thanks for being supportive.

@Kynlei , I found, when I was on Fakebook, that anything you like on any site, automatically gets posted to
your fakebook account.

@freeofgod When I say that my Mom is somehow able to see my likes and comments, I mean on facebook itself. I post to Buzzfeed with my facebook account and it doesn't post to my facebook wall unless I tell it to. Activity on other websites is private to that website, aside from what you search for on Google. Google uses that information to show you more relevant advertisements. That's why you see recently searched for items on every website you visit.