So today's odd thought.

JackPedigo comments on Jul 16, 2018:

In one of my earliest postings I mention this very fact. I personally consider it low class to use a lot of expletives but understand how it can be addictive for some. Some words, as you mentioned, can have a place but it should (and has been) used in it's proper place to add another dimension to ...

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

I do agree. I guess it's a hard habit to break. Best not to get started. I was just talking to one of my kids about that. I told them that swearing would be a big obstacle to getting & keeping a job. Their big sister used to have a really good paying job as a waitress. She managed to save up a couple thousand dollars. & not by telling customers what today's f--ing special was!

So today's odd thought.

SocialGamer comments on Jul 16, 2018:

It's always been my impression that fucking is something done to someone else. Either he fucks she, she fucks he... or any other combination, lets not be limiting. The point being that one is doing the fucking to the other. This could be pleasurably done, it could be consensually done, or it could ...

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

It would be interesting to know if it's a universal thing or if some cultures don't use sexual terms in that way.

Hello hello!

LouisD61 comments on Jul 16, 2018:

Greetings to you. Hope you enjoy your stay. Everyone I've met so far are awesome and friendly.

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

@Jonado No it's true. Atheists really are smarter! Studies have shown that

Ooo let's get creative & twisted.

Snickers77 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

You found a cashier at Walmart?

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

@zorialoki I agree. That's one of the reasons I avoid those self checkouts if I can. Also something always seems to go wrong.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess.

Seeker55 comments on Jul 16, 2018:

Tacky...

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

She got into a car with a driver she'd seen drinking, did not wear a seat belt & did not tell him not to speed. Can only feel so sorry for her.

Hello hello!

LouisD61 comments on Jul 16, 2018:

Greetings to you. Hope you enjoy your stay. Everyone I've met so far are awesome and friendly.

Carin replies on Jul 16, 2018:

Smart too! I love these folks!

I'm having a super crappy day.

Drsmash253 comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Smoke a doobie you'll feel better

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

She's a woman--chocolate might be better.

Ooo let's get creative & twisted.

Snickers77 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

You found a cashier at Walmart?

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@zorialoki Good for you-it costs jobs. Well, crappy jobs but still...

research: Someone on Agnostics proposed using questions in the person-matching algorithm.

Our_existence comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Didn't need much more than an honest description by my now girlfriend. Boy did we ever match

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

That's great!

Today's question was inspired by MissKathleen.

jerrykelt comments on Jul 15, 2018:

How about 'fun parts'?

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

Love it!

Communicating in a relationship: Do you lean towards being open and willing to work things through ...

Mitch07102 comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Middle. No one is or should be completely open at all times. That's naive.

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@Mitch07102 My husband felt the same & it destroyed our relationship & marriage.

Not a meme, just had to share Bad T-Rex! [facebook.]

thislife comments on Jul 15, 2018:

I can't view it :(

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@Livinlife Computers are out to get us.

Not a meme, just had to share Bad T-Rex! [facebook.]

thislife comments on Jul 15, 2018:

I can't view it :(

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@Livinlife Computers are out to get us.

WTF is this sign for?

LEPeff comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Jelly fish are dicks?

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

Good one!

Sometimes when I tell someone I'm an atheist they "correct" me & tell me I mean I'm an agnostic.

Switchcraft comments on Jul 14, 2018:

They cannot conceive of what you have just told them, and they immediately begin to rationalize it in their minds.

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

I think you are right. Sort of like denial.

Random penis cutting

Partyhawk comments on Jul 15, 2018:

I believe it's to desensitize that little bugger's head by constantly having it rubbing on one's clothes.

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@Freespirit64 I heard it was their sandy environment....

Random penis cutting

Partyhawk comments on Jul 15, 2018:

I believe it's to desensitize that little bugger's head by constantly having it rubbing on one's clothes.

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

Yes, there's some Jewish thing somewhere that essentially says that.

Ready, set, go!

MsDemeanour comments on Jul 14, 2018:

I need to collect 63 more philistine foreskins.........Volunteers anyone? Or must I resort to the violence god is pushing for?

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@thislife Since testicles are called Rocky Mountain Oysters, maybe we should call foreskins Rocky Mountain Calamari. Or are those onion rings there? I've never seen calamari breaded like that.

I was at this bar!

MissKathleen comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Liberal white women rock. We are going to FIX this country. We gave those damn conservative men every chance to do right by us, and they just made it worse...now we gonna throw their asses out of the house...and the senate.

Carin replies on Jul 15, 2018:

We are awesome!! Wonder if Boogey thinks calling someone a feminist is an insult too? Well, it is true that the "trans racial" lady really is white but now she's changing her name to something African sounding. Maybe it would help if she moved to Africa?

My latest anti-tRump meme...

Snickers77 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

The face of America to the world.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

@Snickers77 Me too! Any story about him is likely to make me more depressed along with nauseated.

My latest anti-tRump meme...

Snickers77 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

The face of America to the world.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

@Snickers77 Gross.

Sometimes when I tell someone I'm an atheist they "correct" me & tell me I mean I'm an agnostic.

chalupacabre comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Cognitive dissonance. Your convictions dont align with theirs and their reaction is to correct that, in a way convenient and soothing for them.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

Good insight!

Sometimes when I tell someone I'm an atheist they "correct" me & tell me I mean I'm an agnostic.

GwenC comments on Jul 14, 2018:

I think believers interpret agnostic as being unsure instead of not knowing. If you are unsure, there is a chance they can bring you back into the fold and in saving you become the hero. And everyone wants to be a hero. By being atheist you deprive them if the chance to be a hero.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

Poor babies....

My latest anti-tRump meme...

Snickers77 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

The face of America to the world.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

Sad that you are totally right.....

Why do conservative Christians feel oppressed?

Gyanez comments on Jun 26, 2018:

My opinion is that they feel oppressed because things sometimes don't go their way. Gay marriage is legal... Prayer in schools is out... Abortions happen... Trump was supposed to be the savior and he is just a power hungry sociopath really... I get this from some members of my family quite ...

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

@LucyLoohoo Pretty sure they can pray aloud too, if it's not disrupting class like anyone talking to their not invisible friends in class would. They can say grace over their food at lunch or pray as loudly as they want during recess.

This could go for either gender. :) Just a great one liner, had to share

crazycurlz comments on Jun 21, 2018:

funny on the surface and then just kind of dissolves into pathetic. sorry to crash the party. just sharing my reaction.

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

I do agree with you 100%. & while women cheat & lie too, they don't do it nearly as much as men do. More than half of divorces are due to male infidelity. Men themselves admit to cheating more in survey after survey. I think there is still an attitude that a woman cheating & lying is worse than a man cheating & lying to justify why these sorts of "jokes" are so much more commonly directed at women. We are held to higher standards of behavior.

I had been talking to a guy for a month.

dalefvictor comments on Jul 14, 2018:

I have a tendancy to talk to more women than men, it has always been this way. I can only think of about 10 reasons why. All of them having to do with my childhood. I am married to the love of my life, but I do not get out much, except for medical appointments and work, which I still do as I love ...

Carin replies on Jul 14, 2018:

I really think they should have a "just flirting" category.

What would you do if some of your Facebook friends were constantly posting those corny Hallmark ...

malayang-isipan comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Have you considered using "street epistemology"? ://youtu.be/z5KJGDa_pIs ://youtu.be/aMIIleOKQXg I usually just try to ignore them. But if you are really that easily annoyed, you can always unfollow them so you don't have to see their post on your feed. You have that option. Unfriending ...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

Tried to watch the video but it is totally unedited & I guess I have a short attention span. I will google it instead as it sounds intriguing.

Have You Saved Someone's Life?

Mikeb56 comments on Jul 7, 2018:

I would like to recommend two things that through my experience will be essential survival items. 1. A signal mirror. That is probably the fastest way to get a SAR pilots attention on the ocean or on the land. 2. A space blanket. Pick something that is extremely reflective and the color ...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@LiterateHiker I've heard that Benedryl even helps for snake bites. It's definitely recommended for some animals, including goats, that have been bitten by a snake. Curious if it would help a human.

Hugging matters ?

Mooolah comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Spreads disease

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@Countrywoman But still a good reason to avoid all those strangers' unwelcome hugs. I don't like random people hugging me.

Hugging matters ?

Mooolah comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Spreads disease

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@Countrywoman I'm afraid I'll just have to risk it then...

Hi there Just sharing late night thoughts and feelings: though so lonely and suffocated but there's...

Carin comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Did your religion really make you less lonely & suffocated? I would be interested in hearing more. I feel lonely a lot too.

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@Dreamer777 Yes thank you. It has affected your ability to interact with others. I was wondering if you'd meant that god was keeping you company before, but if he was why would you go atheist. Sometimes it takes a while to find a new social circle. Good luck!

Hugging matters ?

Mike1947 comments on Jul 13, 2018:

The Human touch is healing,babies will thrive after being touched, without it they will become malnourished and possible die. A Man who truely loves his wife,will touch her many tines a day, a caress,back rub and maybe at night after her shower of bath,a relaxing foot rub. In the 27 years with my ...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@Sheannutt~~ I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but you are wise to be waiting a while.

Hugging matters ?

Mooolah comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Spreads disease

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

What kind?

The struggle is real...

Stacey48 comments on Jul 13, 2018:

It really is. I'd like some support without wires as well.

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@VAL3941 True. I wouldn't consider myself dressed up without one! (They also make my belly look small by comparison!)

The struggle is real...

Stacey48 comments on Jul 13, 2018:

It really is. I'd like some support without wires as well.

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@VAL3941 Yes, they really are better in that respect. Especially if you are well endowed. But I can't work in one without being in pain. I wear those athletic/exercise bras to work. The girls get squashed but at least they behave themselves.

The struggle is real...

pepperjones comments on Jul 13, 2018:

But they're so pretty!!!

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

I only buy pretty ones. & ones that make the girls look pretty too.

The struggle is real...

Carin comments on Jul 13, 2018:

If you wear an odd size it's even worse. I can't get a 34DDD for under $65--sixty five dollars for ONE bra! That's if the store even carries that size. Many don't. But if you look at them, they are pretty complicated garments that would be hard to sew. It would take more time to make one than ...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

@VAL3941 I don't blame her--yikes!!

Complaining.

bleurowz comments on Jul 10, 2018:

I have a lot of compassion for complainers, having been one myself. Usually people who complain are overwhelmed by lots of fears and things that are not in their control. I've been able to let go and focus on the things that are important and try not to worry about the little things. A lot of things...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

You sound like a nice person.

Complaining.

Geoffrey51 comments on Jul 12, 2018:

Oh yes, I am well aware of the amount I complain. Not making any effort to stop it. Its one of my hobbies. As my wife says "I wouldn't be happy if I had nothing to complain about"

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

Me too. One of my few pleasures in life.

How close are you to your animal protien?

Tynorth46 comments on Mar 8, 2018:

A lot of interesting responses with hesrtfelt concern about animals and their treatment. I would agree with most of the concerns and wish a better fate on animals raised for consumption. And though I was raised in a era, and around people that were, or came from, ranching and farming areas, I don't ...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

True animal rights philosophy rejects any kind of hierarchy of humans over animals & some animals over others. Those people should do some reading. What they are doing is not animal rights as it's based on emotion, not rational thinking. Peter Singer's book "Animal Liberation" lays it out really well with rational & realistic arguements.

How close are you to your animal protien?

Tynorth46 comments on Mar 7, 2018:

I hunted most of much of my life. I have killed many big game animals from From Antelope, Deer, Elk, Bear, Moose, Javelina, Squirrel, Rabbits, and many game Birds. So, I have field dressed, packed out, and butchered lots of animals for my families consumption. I believe in strict controls of animal...

Carin replies on Jul 13, 2018:

I've been a vegetarian for over 30 years but if someone starts talking about how "mean" hunters are & they are not vegetarian, I give them a pretty bad time. I firmly believe hunting is overall much more humane than buying factory farmed grocery store meat. Hunters are honest meat eaters & I can respect that. Of course I wish everyone in the world was vegetarian but that's never going to happen, so it makes sense to focus on humane treatment for all animals. I also don't see how eating a dog or horse is worse than eating a pig or cow either. To people who say it is, I wonder what the difference is between pet rabbits & the ones people eat. They look the same & have the same brain & nervous system. Some people really watched Bambi too many times when they were little!

Opposition to Breast-Feeding Resolution by U.S. Stuns World Health Officials

ezwryder comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Well that was the logical step backwards wasn’t it?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

@AstralSmoke You were lucky then! Your mom knew what was best. Women faced a lot of pressure to be "modern" & use formula. Doctors liked formula because it made the babies gain a lot of weight & could be measured. Good breastfeeding info was scarce. That's when (& why) La Leche League was founded.

Are you a loyal partner?

chilehead9 comments on Jul 11, 2018:

What's the point of even having a relationship if you're not?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

@chilehead9 Mine either, but it seems to be for a lot of people.

Are you a loyal partner?

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Do you mean loyal as in honest and consistent or loyal as a euphemism for monogamous?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

@HonkyBMcfunky Thanks--I didn't necessarily mean to physically protect, although that's certainly important. I was mostly thinking along the lines of standing up for your spouse if there are in-law problems, shielding them from experiences that you know would be upsetting for them--things like that. Things that occur a lot more often than muggings or pit bull attacks.

Opposition to Breast-Feeding Resolution by U.S. Stuns World Health Officials

RavenCT comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Yup makes no sense at all. Breast milk is best - as long as the Mom is able and willing. This is just appalling.

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

@RavenCT Yes it is but on average a woman's fertility takes at least a few months to return if she is nursing full time & not using pacifiers. On the other hand, if a mom doesn't nurse she will begin cycling right away. In some parts of the world where birth control isn't available it may be all that women have to avoid back to back pregnancies. Certain styles of breastfeeding keep fertility suppressed longer but I won't go into detail unless someone asks.

Opposition to Breast-Feeding Resolution by U.S. Stuns World Health Officials

ezwryder comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Well that was the logical step backwards wasn’t it?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

@AstralSmoke US rates for breastfeeding declined for most of 1900s. During World War II it decreased further & was at a very low level by the 1950s due to the popularity of the new prepared infant formulas. Breastfeeding was viewed as primitive during that time. Rates did not begin to increase until the mid 1960s. Do your research before you get nasty.

Could not have said it better.

MrChange comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Do these women exist?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Right here. Loyal & faithful to him for over 30 years. Now the scumbags he cheated with can have him.

Are you a loyal partner?

Sheannutt comments on Jul 11, 2018:

I sure was but he wasn't.

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Same here. Now he's going to have to try & find someone else to take care of him in his old age, which is not too far off. None of those trashy people he cheated are going to do it, but I sure would have.

Are you a loyal partner?

chilehead9 comments on Jul 11, 2018:

What's the point of even having a relationship if you're not?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Self gain.

Are you a loyal partner?

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Do you mean loyal as in honest and consistent or loyal as a euphemism for monogamous?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

I took it as both, & more than that even. Protecting your partner, helping them & looking after their best interests.

Are you a loyal partner?

shayne69 comments on Jul 11, 2018:

I've always been loyal to a fault, maybe too loyal. Oh well, live and learn.

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Me too.

How did LSD impact your view of religion?

Lop-Eared-Mule comments on Jul 8, 2018:

If everyone tripped at least once in their lives, the world would be a better place, os so a friend told me...... snikker......

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Or at least mushrooms.

I'll have to do this. Yes I am that twisted..lol

Carin comments on Jul 12, 2018:

No, please don't!!! I already have PTSD. Seriously. Cleaners work very hard & hardly anyone tips us. We are humans cleaning up your dirt. Would you do that to your mother?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

(It is a funny picture though!)

I'll have to do this. Yes I am that twisted..lol

AuroraBorealis comments on Jul 12, 2018:

Lolololol I’m totally doing this the next time I stay at a hotel where the management is shitty ? why haven’t I thought about this before!?

Carin replies on Jul 12, 2018:

Why punish the maid for bad management? Not her fault. Now if she left a bunch of someone else's hair in the shower....

MEN: What would your reason be for asking a woman what she does for a living, upon meeting her?

KCjoe108 comments on Jul 9, 2018:

I don't normally ask about work until it comes up in regular conversation. I guess I just don't care that much? I don't feel as if my work defines who I am. I'd much rather get her talking about something she is passionate about. That makes for a more interesting and informative conversation in my...

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

You sound like a really worthwhile person! & you explained it so well.

In pursuit of healthy aging

Carin comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Vegetarianism & avoiding the sun is serving me pretty well. Don't drink or smoke either. Normal cholesterol levels & below normal BP well past the age when other family members were taking pills for it. Avoiding the sun prevents wrinkles & spots as well as skin cancer.

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

@Belrieve OK I'm stealing that one!!

In pursuit of healthy aging

Carin comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Vegetarianism & avoiding the sun is serving me pretty well. Don't drink or smoke either. Normal cholesterol levels & below normal BP well past the age when other family members were taking pills for it. Avoiding the sun prevents wrinkles & spots as well as skin cancer.

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

@Belrieve The first couple years are the hardest--you are doing great. Maybe your dad will be inspired by you to at least reduce animal products intake.

In pursuit of healthy aging

Carin comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Vegetarianism & avoiding the sun is serving me pretty well. Don't drink or smoke either. Normal cholesterol levels & below normal BP well past the age when other family members were taking pills for it. Avoiding the sun prevents wrinkles & spots as well as skin cancer.

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

@Belrieve I believe it helps me not gain weight too. Did not really think about health benefits till lately, when friends & relatives are starting to need drugs for heart, BP, cholesterol etc. & I don't, despite all of that running in my family. I was/am primarily a compassionate vegetarian.

What's your lowest compatibility percentage?

Jlangston70 comments on Jul 11, 2018:

I'm guessing this something for people who are here for dating. I haven't seen this score.

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

Yes I think so; it's supposed to help people who want to date others here. & the ones with higher scores seem to have pink or red hearts. But I'm not really finding that the scores correlate with how much I personally feel I have in common with them, or my level of romantic interest.

Empathy and the Appeal of Right-Wing Politics

Krysia22 comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Sorry to say, I just don't see any....

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

I think that's what the writer is trying to say...these people are not feeling empathy from others so they are acting out.

Who's not watching the football tonight?

TheAstroChuck comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Football? What football? Actually, I'm kidding. I learned decades ago how to feign complete ignorance about sports as a method to get enthusiasts to not bother me. The first time: I was walking in Boulder, Colorado, USA, when a man approached me, asking how did the Broncos do? (The Denver ...

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

If I actually do recognize a player's name & he happens to play football, I will ask the person how many home runs he got. Likewise, if they play baseball I might ask if he made any holes-in-one.

Opposition to Breast-Feeding Resolution by U.S. Stuns World Health Officials

ezwryder comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Well that was the logical step backwards wasn’t it?

Carin replies on Jul 11, 2018:

Just like everything else Trump does--back to the 1950s. For everyone but white men I guess...

I thought this was funny.!!

LadyAlyxandrea comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Seriously I don't understand how anyone believes that shit lmao. They didn't even have the medical knowledge to prove she was a virgin lmao trust me when I tried to use the excuse "ummmm an angel gave me gods baby" that didn't go over half as well

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

@Eclipsechaser I thought she consented? Or was the deed already done when he informed her? Went to catholic school & I remember them teaching us about the Annunciation. The cad didn't have the decency to talk to her himself even--he sent Gabriel.

I thought this was funny.!!

moonmaid comments on Jul 10, 2018:

LMAO!!! She did a great job with that story

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

The prospect of being stoned to death for adultery must have been a great motivator.

I thought this was funny.!!

Coldo comments on Jul 10, 2018:

After she told him.

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

That is too too funny!!

Thinking back on my recent ex and his behavior(he did everything on the meme).

Alvinsmama comments on Jul 10, 2018:

One of the reasons I left my second husband. He was a Marine for almost twenty years. He was disliked by most of his superiors, although he did get along with his troops. Trouble is, he treated me like one of his troops. He always thought he was god's gift to women. Never did anything that ...

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

@Alvinsmama Yeah--no horror movies for me.

MEN: What would your reason be for asking a woman what she does for a living, upon meeting her?

Carin comments on Jul 9, 2018:

I don't tend to ask a guy that early on as I feel it's kind of like asking "How much money do you make?" I also feel awkward when people ask me the same question as my work is about the opposite of glamorous.

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Some guys seem to worry about being taken advantage of financially so I try to be considerate of that. (Like their idea of a bad date is paying for a nice dinner & not even getting a peck on the cheek. Our idea of a bad date is being raped &/or murdered. But oh well.)

Would you date someone who is a self-proclaimed psychic/intuitive?

Carin comments on Jul 9, 2018:

God no! I have & they are often idiots.

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

@BettyColeman Just my personal observation. I live in CA & we have lots of them. No need to get huffy.

Thinking back on my recent ex and his behavior(he did everything on the meme).

Alvinsmama comments on Jul 10, 2018:

One of the reasons I left my second husband. He was a Marine for almost twenty years. He was disliked by most of his superiors, although he did get along with his troops. Trouble is, he treated me like one of his troops. He always thought he was god's gift to women. Never did anything that ...

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

@Alvinsmama Seems like if he really did have it you would have noticed--how odd. Your ex-room mate sounds sadistic. I don't do well with loud sounds at all. Even if I know it's coming I still jump! Mostly it doesn't bother me afterwards though. Time does not seem to help with it--if anything I'm getting jumpier.

Thinking back on my recent ex and his behavior(he did everything on the meme).

TheGreatShadow comments on Jul 10, 2018:

From what it sounds like, it was more verbal. I have a "friend" that physically and mentally abuses his GF. Also beats her 5 y/o son. This is the 4th or 5th time she has left him. Why she keeps on getting back with him; I do not know. I got some messages from her a few hours ago saying we could ...

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Do the authorities know about the child abuse? Not to sound bossy but I think you should report that. I recently learned that in the state of Oklahoma at least, anyone over the age of 18 is required to report any suspected child abuse. In my state only people in certain professions are legally required-medical people, teachers, etc. By the way, psychological abuse has been shown to cause physical changes in the brain & is at least as damaging to the victim as physical abuse. Having been a victim of both as a child, I rarely reflect back on being thrown down the stairs, but the self esteem problems from near constant ridicule & humiliation are little improved after 40 years & lots of therapy.

Thinking back on my recent ex and his behavior(he did everything on the meme).

Alvinsmama comments on Jul 10, 2018:

One of the reasons I left my second husband. He was a Marine for almost twenty years. He was disliked by most of his superiors, although he did get along with his troops. Trouble is, he treated me like one of his troops. He always thought he was god's gift to women. Never did anything that ...

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Totally off topic, but what bothered you the most about his startle syndrome? My ex-to-be also finds it irritating but I don't think I can not do it. It happens so fast. Before that I never thought much about its affect on other people (maybe selfish) but only felt embarrassed when I "yelp" in public when someone bumps me or makes a loud sound. I would truly like to hear your perspective on it & how I might mitigate the affects on others. While ex-to-be finds it annoying, other people feel bad when they make me jump, even though I don't find it particularly distressing. It's just a reflex.

Should public nudity be legal?

chilehead9 comments on Jun 26, 2018:

We certainly should allow women to go topless everywhere that men can go topless, but there's other issues that would come up - like how would restaurants deal with the change in rules? Would you really want to sit on chairs that had been exposed to hundreds of other people's unclothed posteriors?...

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Women are still getting harassed for discretely breastfeeding their kids in public so your idea is very appealing. Breasts really are there mainly to feed babies after all.. In some cultures they are, or were, not seen as sexual, making National Geographic magazines popular reading material for American boys back when I was young.

Should public nudity be legal?

honesty411 comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Public nudity...really, no. most nudists are saggy baggy old folk and i do not want to see turtle heads or goffers.

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Not sure if I really want to know what a goffer is....

Should public nudity be legal?

KCBear comments on Jul 3, 2018:

I think it can be distracting, possibly could cause traffic accidents. I think it should be allowed in designated areas like parks and bars and gyms.

Carin replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Nude bars--oh my...

How many of you still use the phrases "Oh thank god" or "Dear lord" or something else that ...

Robin227 comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Does Jesus Fucking H Christ count? ;-)

Carin replies on Jul 9, 2018:

Twice!

We’ve all been through this.

LadyAlyxandrea comments on Jul 9, 2018:

You know I wonder if I'm a psychopath and just don't realize it

Carin replies on Jul 9, 2018:

I do agree with Carolina & Salo. Don't put yourself down for a problem you are sincerely working on. It's not going to help you improve yourself to think that way. You look pretty young & I think we are just about all still self centered & selfish well past when you would consider adolescence to end. Here's a baby goat to help you feel better.

Men/Women, Is sex a requirement for an enjoyable romantic relationship?

Voyagefan comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Please I cannot be the only one that sees the elephant in the room here? The husband has someone on the side! We all need a lot sex in our relationships...

Carin replies on Jul 9, 2018:

That was my first thought too. I thought my husband was just getting old & slowing down--but he was cheating .

Greatest country song of all time.

JeffMesser comments on Jun 10, 2018:

Egads if you're not familiar with David Alan Coe ... He's basically a KKK member posing (back then) as a country western singer. He does one of those acts where they do all the antagonistic idea songs that get drunk crowds riled up ... like at college town bars. Many of the song titles can't even...

Carin replies on Jul 9, 2018:

Aw man...I did NOT want to know that... Maybe someone will do a good cover of it.

Cutting out the clitoris

ghost_warlock comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Do they have the right? I honestly have no idea. I don't believe that they *should,* though. I also find circumcision to be abhorrent, but that doesn't stop millions of Christians

Carin replies on Jul 8, 2018:

I do agree about male circumcision but it kills fewer kids than the various forms of mutilation perpetrated on females. Many people don't realize that over 100 male infants die from it every year in the US alone. I certainly never would have had it done on my little boys.

Cutting out the clitoris

ghost_warlock comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Do they have the right? I honestly have no idea. I don't believe that they *should,* though. I also find circumcision to be abhorrent, but that doesn't stop millions of Christians

Carin replies on Jul 8, 2018:

No, it is illegal here. But parents & practitioners do it secretly & I guess the girls don't report it. Many are very young. Very few prosecutions. Last year a muslim doctor in the US got caught. She was female & entirely unrepentant. Really sad, though at least having a doctor do it reduces fatalities.

Cutting out the clitoris

weldingguy comments on Jul 7, 2018:

I have seen pictures of the cruder "operations". It is horrible and most unsettling. Besides that, many guys like that part of a woman fully functional.

Carin replies on Jul 8, 2018:

They find females enjoying sex to be a threat to marital fidelity as well as the patriarchy in general. They seem to be OK fatalities due to blood loss & infection. They deny that the resultant scar tissue can also cause fatal birth complications.

Condescending people.

Carin comments on Jul 1, 2018:

My husband lies to me, sometimes for convenience, sometimes for fun & sometimes out of malice; then he snickers at me for being so dumb. I am just trying to get away & completely ignore most things he says.

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@CarolinaGirl60 I have never heard of those but it sounds worth looking into! Thanks so much!!!

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman Though I'm dating a 48 year old guy.

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman No I'm here but I'm female!

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman i live in CA

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman I'm 56.

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman You are back east & really are up late! I'm sorry!

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

@BettyColeman Yeah me too--sure wake up with a dry mouth though. & more groggy in the morning than if I take a Rx one.

Sleep, what is the secret? I have to know.

Carin comments on Jul 2, 2018:

This may not be the best place to ask...my best answer is more pills & that's a horrible answer!

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

Tonight is a 2 & a half pill night--I had a demoralizing day.

So I need some advice.

CeliaVL comments on Jun 29, 2018:

You are very young to be dealing with all this pain and distress on your own. My feeling is that you need the support and help of someone who is not involved in your life. I found counselling very helpful - would it be possible for you to find a counsellor? I found 'person-centred' counselling ...

Carin replies on Jul 2, 2018:

Absolutely great advice. It will help you not tell things to your family that they will make you regret later if you have a safe person to talk to instead.

I wanted to send a warning post It hit me this morning that abusers search out the "weak" (what ...

Residualspirit comments on Jun 13, 2018:

You were never chosen because of weakness you were chosen for your compassion and your ability to love! Neither of those are weak attributes!

Carin replies on Jun 24, 2018:

@FitForaQueen0829 So crazy that I appreciate traits like kindness & openness when it's somebody else, but despise them & feel they make me a sucker when I see those traits in myself.

I wanted to send a warning post It hit me this morning that abusers search out the "weak" (what ...

Residualspirit comments on Jun 13, 2018:

You were never chosen because of weakness you were chosen for your compassion and your ability to love! Neither of those are weak attributes!

Carin replies on Jun 13, 2018:

Shows how much they've damaged us, that many of us see kindness, compassion, generosity & willingness to compromise or even sacrifice for those we love, as bad qualities.

I NEED to share what I am thinking right now but it is harsh and irrational.

Carin comments on Jun 12, 2018:

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through! I don't have money to spare but I wondered if you felt safe giving us a very general idea of where you live? With a little luck someone may live near by & be able to drive you to town or something. I know I would!

Carin replies on Jun 13, 2018:

@CreativelyMe Aw, so sorry. I understand!

Anybody else wondering if the two celebrity suicides were possibly Secrete lovers?

Carin comments on Jun 9, 2018:

I always thought Anthony Bourdain was gay, but reports mention that he was a father--so maybe a secret life? Who is the other celebrity you refer to?

Carin replies on Jun 9, 2018:

@AnneWimsey He just looked gay. There are lots of gays in my town, I have gay friends & neighbors & he would have fit right in. As far as being a lady's man, lots of women love gay men. There's even a nickname for them-fag hags! But I never knew anything about Bourdain's personal life as I wasn't really a fan of his.

Why does the sea taste salty?

BucketlistBob comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Its turn from an acid to a base.

Carin replies on Jun 9, 2018:

Sea water is very alkaline. I never connected that to the salt content, as I don't know anything about chemistry. I used to test aquarium water & we had to use different strips for fresh & salt water because the freshwater ones didn't go high enough for saltwater aquariums.

I think I just proved Darwin wrong.

Carin comments on Jun 7, 2018:

It's actually true--the less education a person has, the more kids they have. Numerous studies have shown this. Maybe Mother Nature is saying we're too smart for our own good?

Carin replies on Jun 8, 2018:

@OldDave Quite true--very good point. People can be stupid for different reasons & it's usually not a choice they make.

Do u think it's possible to recover from a neglected childhood????

Carin comments on Jun 6, 2018:

No. Neglect & abuse actually cause small changes in the structure of the brain. I've found that I feel better just accepting my weird self & arranging my life to deal with it.

Carin replies on Jun 8, 2018:

@crazycurlz, @LetzGetReal Indeed it can! But I read an article last year or so that the part of the brain that deals with hearing is actually smaller in kids who have suffered verbal abuse specifically. & wow I never thought of this but I was diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder a few years ago & my mom's forte was verbal abuse...isn't it great to be able to talk about these things here? So helpful! Have a lovely day!

Do u think it's possible to recover from a neglected childhood????

Carin comments on Jun 6, 2018:

No. Neglect & abuse actually cause small changes in the structure of the brain. I've found that I feel better just accepting my weird self & arranging my life to deal with it.

Carin replies on Jun 8, 2018:

@crazycurlz I like that perspective! Thanks!

No contact: have you done it? What were the results?

Carin comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Yes I did it with my parents & never regretted it. I wondered if I would feel guilty when they died, but I didn't. If anything, I felt relief. One downside was that some other family members cut me out when I stopped all contact with my parents.

Carin replies on Jun 8, 2018:

@CarolinaGirl60 I understand about the smear campaign! I was very relived when she died.