How do you handle family (extend or close) who refuse to accept your beliefs for what they are and instead try to convert or belittle you for them?
I just keep telling them I don't need a bed time story to scare me into being a good person.
I don't really handle them as much as they handle me...if that makes sense. My dad and stepmom disowned me because of their religious bullshit, but it's their loss, so I don't let it bother me. Most of my family are believers, but we all get along for the most part. It's just that my dad is a fundamentalist evangelical lunatic, so as far as I'm concerned, fuck em.
I used to be much more tolerant and deferential to religion. It started wearing thin when people would say that they would pray for me. At that point I decided that if they aren't tolerant and deferential to my beliefs I don't have to reciprocate. Now I secretly believe that they know it's all nonsense and let it go at that.
The best rule of thumb is not to talk about sex, religion, or politics with dumb dumbs
I cut them off. When people are only around to change you, you have to look at what they're trying to change. Some people are there to help you better yourself, keep those people around. Anyone who wants to change how you think is not worth keeping around no matter who they are to you.
I would add that in the process of cutting them off, you should also give them an ultimatum/offer. Basically just tell them that if they ever change their minds and decide one day that they're willing to accept you for who you are and what you believe, you'll still be here.
My parent still tell me they're praying for me about this and that. And invite me to church. I've told them my doubts already, but I really don't think some of them have accepted it yet. I'm mostly going to not talk about it much with them, unless I really feel that it's unavoidable.
Keep them on a distance until they grow up. Be the Grown Up.
Strive for a détente.
In my opinion, neither party should be trying to convert the other. Any attempt to do so will only reinforce the other's views and stereotypes.
I've been belittle for decades now and "discarded" by extended family for my beliefs and as an excuse for them (since they have rejected my beliefs), I must be right.
I have 2 sisters both older than me who live in Wis & Minn. I live in Az. They are both extremely religious (Christians) as was I as a kid. i now consider myself an atheist but I have avoided telling them because one would probably never speak to me again and the other would pummel me with conversion efforts. Our political philosophies also diverge -- the Minn sister is on the far left, the other is more middle of the road conservative. I am an Independent who tends toward the conservative side. I usually try to avoid talking about politics & religion with them but recently the Minn sister started blithering about how bad Trump is on a recent call. She was dumb-struck when I told her "I support the President". In her most recent call, she avoided the subject.
Athiest, Trump supporter....hmm. very rare combination.
@VirginCotton Sounds like we have some views in common. Might be interesting to chat in more detail some time. I am a retired computer techie (mainframe).
When trying to be friendly, we look for common ground, and we try to stay open to things that are different. If biting your tongue and going along doesn't suffice, education about their beliefs will. While I was an atheist, I became skilled at challenging Christians with the words and actions of their savior. If you don't want to invest your time and effort to understanding, then it is best to be quiet.
Was an athiest? Are you no longer?