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A follow up on "is she worth it". Before I get started I want to thank each of you for the meaningful as well humorous responses to my first posted question. This web site is kinda like having friends but without the special benefits. I guess I could think of each of you and start touching myself and that would be close to the same thing but I don't want to go blind. So for now I will just be satisfied with your warm thoughts and funny one liners. Okay so this is what happened.
The woman and I spoke on Tuesday before a giants game. At the end of the conversation she said she would send me information about a healing weekend this Saturday and I said I would look at the information and let her know. I told her though that since we had not met in person I would prefer to meet her fir coffee or even lunch so we could take some time to see if we had chemistry. After getting off the phone she sends me the information and immediately says " you should drive up early Friday we can see the town and you can spend the night in my master bedroom and we can drive up on Saturday". I am not kidding. I did not respond
I went to the giants game got home late and was busy Wednesday and Thursday with friends and clients. On my way home today I get a text that says: "so what now your playing the disappearing act". I thought "fuck woman we haven't even met yet". But I did not say that. What I texted was this: " wow (insert her name) wow. Okay I think you are right this does not feel like a good fit for either of us. (I then explained what had happened since Tuesday and finished with) "we haven't even met each other. This is way too much drama for me when we don't even have a relationship. I wish you all the best I really do" . Then I sent the text and blocked her because I was tired and need to think. I refuse to believe that all women over 50 are full of bitterness and anger over past relationships. I just don't buy it. I also refuse to believe that all men over 50 are lying cheating assholes. What I can't figure out is why I keep meeting women who are so troubled. I can't figure out what I am doing. One of you said it was my karma and if that is the case then I should just give up. I thought I was a decent honest and genuine guy. But something has to be wrong. Maybe I am just a piece of shit and I am getting what I deserve but if that is the case then I am going to be alone for the rest of my life because I am not going to choose drama and anger just to be able to share someone's bed. Anyway. There it is. Fire away.

Ciravolostone 6 June 21
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8 comments

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While it is difficult to be involved with humanity and not have some scars and baggage from the past, we make a choice on how it will affect our future relationships. Can't imagine asking a complete stranger into my bedroom, even if I were sleeping on the couch!! Good luck.

lcmdws Level 4 June 22, 2018
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Remember your question about swear words. Go to your profile then alert settings, change it there ? All will be revealed !

@Ciravolostone
Let me know thd results please ?

@Ciravolostone
There you go then !

@Ciravolostone
It is now -11.10 am thats not late ?

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No matter how beautiful, smart or rich they are, somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of their shit.

Wrytyr Level 7 June 22, 2018
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Women love drama. Some men do, too, but not like women love it. Younger women love it just as much but you’re not hanging around them long enough to discover it. My theory is that they need things to have feelings about. Deep, conflicting, feelings that require much conversation with other women to figure out. That process is fun and social so they create drama. Men don’t like feelings a whole lot so we tend to make jokes and not be very deep.

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You're both right and you're both wrong. She should not have pushed for so much before a first meeting, and you should not have put off telling her so. She's right that you blew her off, because sending a text takes seconds. And finally, you're right that something is off about this potential relationship. Her eagerness would be more understandable if you'd already met, but it's too much too soon. You're also right to have asked for a first meeting in neutral territory in a no pressure setting.

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Yeah, that was off from the get go.
From facts presented she ignored your wish to meet first, before committing to long lets say exposure. Then boom your in bed, with no way out. On the other hand a more immediate reply could have avoided the whole thing. She would have felt rejected (never good) and ignored and not worthy of being a priority. Her feeling is she just laid down for you and you should have jumped on it. literally and figuratively. I understand you were.... floored by her directive. Instead of not replying I would have advised, whoa, slow down. I would like to meet for coffee first and press that. By not responding it implied compliance. Which then would have been followed with daily confirmations of how you can't wait for ... blah, blah, blah ..... Just my 2 cents as if watching a soap opera.

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Perhaps you are simply a nice guy and needy women see that and want to get taken care of. You've realized that you don't want to spend all your spare energy, such as it is, on fixing other people. That may be all that it is.

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Right now I'm still reeling from discovering my husband of 17 years spent the last year of it cheating on me. And I expect that to cause trust issues because of that. Betrayal is nasty and beyond painful because the victim knows it was deliberate. The only rule I ever gave him in our relationship was "Please end it before you cheat" and he couldn't even manage that one little thing for me. Was he lazy? Was he a coward? Was he just cruel? Perhaps all three. I do know that I definitely don't want to make any commitments of any kind, pertaining to relationships, until I have that understandable baggage under better control. So yeah, I don't know how I will navigate with my new suspicious nature, but I intend to move forward at my own pace and not be pushed.
What happened to old fashioned dating to get to know a person better? You know, neutral ground, coffee, maybe lunch if that went well, etc. What's with the spending a weekend in the master bedroom of somebody you have never met in person? I wouldn't have responded to that text, either, or if I had done so, it would have been with a "Hell no!" Just because I may not have as many years ahead of me as I did a few years ago does not mean I'm lonely or desperate enough to throw caution to the wind. Don't feel bad about refusing to be pushed in any direction.

Deb57 Level 8 June 22, 2018

Hi, I am really sorry to read your situation. My very close childhood friend had very much the same happen to her. 27 years in he reveals he had met someone three years ago and wants out. She never had a clue and boom there it sits. That was three years ago, she is recovering and living better then she had hoped. So hang on, it's a shit ride. but you will be ok.

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