The Whole Bible in 100 words.

First God makes the world and then drowns it, apart from one floating zoo.
Abraham goes to Egypt and Moses gets lost coming home.
Joshua invents demolition and genocide. Judges rule, Ruth gets married and Samuel creates Kings.
Esther kicks ass and how God gambles on Job is Chronicled.
Musical interlude.
Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel lament going to Babylon, Daniel becomes a lion tamer.
Loads of weird prophets moan a lot.
Jesus is born, talks, does conjuring tricks, dies, comes back, goes away, so his friends write letters. John moves to Patmos, eats some magic mushrooms and sees the apocalypse.

The End