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I have fixed a hard date for myself - unless there is any improvement in my life over the next month; well, that's it. I'll check out.

Because I am a writer by nature I have started a daily journal between now and D-Day. Which is both psychologically useful and morbidly amusing.

When you have a clock ticking, everything snaps into focus.

Expect updates.

Palindromeman 7 July 13

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My husband committed suicide. Monday would have been his birthday.

This is BY FAR the most ignorant, insensitive, absurd thing I've read all day. And apparently, according to the comments, this isn't your first time seeking attention, because, that's obviously all this is. Feel better now?

I'm blocking you. I can't believe you would post something like this on a forum like this.

In the Health and Happiness group, of all things. Ugh.

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Oh look everybody, it is "sarahroo" back and announcing her (I think) 34th suicide attempt...or is it 37? So hard to keep track......

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Dude, you might as well hang around because it all goes by so quick anyway. A few weeks ago I was18 and in high school and now I'm 58.

I take your point, but there is the grinding sense of pointlessness which has a certain level of gravity.

@Palindromeman I fell that way too exactly but then the date flies by and I'm still here/nothing changed. it wasn't always this way. it is getting old

@squiggy_70 I think you may have answered my existential question - "nothing changed". Then what is the fucking point?

@Palindromeman well cause we are alive for such a short time and dead for ever so stick around see what happens. the day to day sucks and getting worse but a few good things have happened. well a woman in town just dropped dead of a heart attack so you may not have to wait.

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Get out more. Too much thinking brings on introspection. Life is what is happening whilst you are on here complaining!

Good comment. Which is exactly what I am doing - in a cafe in Braddon, Canberra and taking in the winter sunshine.

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I think life is an opportunity. It is relatively short anyway. It used to 'nasty, brutish and short'. Now it's better but our minds are so sophisticated we tend to criticise what might be the best of times. Good writers usually have read avidly. We don't even need to read books to make favourable comparisons with many other people's lives around the world. TV news can confirm it every day.

In other words, stick with it. Read a wonderful book. Visit a rose garden. Buy a latté.

But maybe you have very particular reasons for feeling the way you do and I guess we'll hear about them soon.

chronic pain, my issue takes the fun out of everything. when ever I am pain free for just a minute I see the old me. but this shit has to be fixed and the medical care sucks. pills and more pills and not ones that even takes the pain away cause god forbid. but shitty pills SSRI. SNRIs weird shit elliptical(,anti seizure drugs

@squiggy_70 So sorry to hear that. No pain relief, just mood changers. I hear a lot these days about medical marijuana or herbal weed, if they're the same thing. Perhaps you've tried it already.

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Ohferpetessake....

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Please seek counseling. There are better things to do with your life than ending it. I wish I hadn’t read this.

Hermit Level 7 July 14, 2018

Counselling - been there, done that.

I'm sorry that you read this, I do apologise.

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I’m sorry you’re in this place, but I understand. Been there myself.

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We'll know what happened if we stop hearing from you.

Yes, indeed. A sudden and permanent lack or transmissions will be a clear signal.

But, suddenly (by divine intervention? Hahahahahaha, just joking) I have a date next week. Not a bot or some ridiculous Second Life thing - an actual person.

I consider this to be signs of life from the space probe Palindromeman.

@Palindromeman Another person doesn't solve everything, but best of luck to you.

@AzVixen52 Agreed. I am the actor here. I'm just looking for inspiration.

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