I guess maybe I should clarify. It was just before Thanksgiving. Vincent came to my office at work. His family had just uninvited us to Thanksgiving dinner. They are mormon. I told him it was ok and we would do our own thing with my grandpa. We kissed and make small jokes. He bought me flowers that night. Then we ended up having a small argument because I was still pushing him to get mental help. I had known he was having suicidal thoughts for about 15 days. And I wanted him to go in patient for professional help. He wouldn't. That night he called at 1:06am and unlike every time before, for some reason I didn't wake up. He didnt leave a voicemail, he just shot himself in the head. The suicide not said he had been planning it for months. And he knew it would hurt me an others but that he felt it was the brave thing to do, and best for everyone. I personally have struggled with guilt but i am seeing a counselor.