Maybe you'll make some friends here, Lina. That's what we all here for -- a community of like-minded people. Start some conversations, post some questions, and you'll have folks to interact with. Welcome and good luck!

I started living alone for the first time in 25 years 2.5 years ago. I had moved to a small town and knew no one. It was a really hard winter. I had to get out, talk to other humans, join some meetups (meetups.com) to meet others, join some charity groups locally to find other altruistic humans, hang out at the library, and talk to my neighbors. My kids are out of the house and doing what I taught them to do. It hurts so badly when they leave after a visit now... It takes time. Find YOU. Find what you enjoy and then find others to enjoy those things with you. My charity knitting group meets at a church but they tolerate me as I am there for the same reason as they are.

Welcome to our little site and may you find friendship and more in out little place. Children are grown... Empty nest? This is your time now. You are not bad to look at and you know that, there is a lot to live for. I call it phase 3. Be selfish and be yourself. Find what you need to find and live large within your means but live. You got a lot of life left to enjoy it. Get moving!!! May you find connection here and everything you wish for. But don't give up, never give up.

I can relate. I also come from a family with little communication. It is hard for people who come from families that are not healthy. Look at what you have done right - you did a good job of raising your children. Not everyone can do that. For myself, it helped to join a community. I found a Unitarian Society, which provides the benefits of a church without requiring people to believe in god(s). I can empathize with feeling alone. I also hear you when you state that it does not feel great to be alive. Life for many people is a struggle. But we are here and it is best if we can find something to do.

its only with age you realise how fake and uncaring most people are. maybe a dog would help you. they do me.

Sorry to hear this, I had a sick upbringing as in my parents were hopeless, extremely dysfunctional family. Like you, I made sure I did better with my kids. I do spend days even months alone, I read, I have pets, I garden and spend too much time on the internet. Like @engineer_in_nj suggests, volunteering is a really good idea. I do it, and we have many people come and go in a similar position. I am lucky, I volunteer at a place with over 260 others, lots of freedom, only 5 paid part time workers and a lot of activities to choose from. I run the community gardens, coach on energy use and self sufficiency, tutor high school kids, help oldies learn computers, provide tax help and teach preschoolers about gardening. Not all at once, and I pretty much set my own agenda, choose what I want to do a week ahead and have built my role around what I can do to help.I hope other places are the same, it allows you to grow into a role, and to grow the role. Give me a purpose from week to week.

Sorry you are going thru this. I find volunteering to be helpful when I feel lonely.