My heart goes out to you. My divorce 10 years ago was surprisingly amicable, and we've remained good friends. But there was definitely a sense of failure that she and I had to overcome. I can't even imagine how much more difficult this is to navigate with children in the picture. And it's expected that hearts are breaking in this difficult period. But I can tell you that, yes, time does heal, and everyone involved should recover eventually. Until then, take care and be kind--to yourself, to everyone.

Good luck! I hope it isn't a total shit show.

Interesting that he wants to change names. It never came up for us. Tough moment here but we tried to make it seem ok that having two places to stay could be cool. Plus I remember my son asking about his friends mom and dad living in separate places a few yrs back. It’s seems much more the norm these days.

Interesting that he wants to change names. It never came up for us. Tough moment here but we tried to make it seem ok that having two places to stay could be cool. Plus I remember my son asking about his friends mom and dad living in separate places a few yrs back. It’s seems much more the norm these days.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Recently separated and filed for divorce, too. So sorry you are going through this. My teenage kids reacted similarly. Its so hard to watch them go through this. Like my daughter said, "It's not like you PLAN to divorce." It's still what's best for all involved. Peace.

I am sorry Pepper. Things will be better.

Telling the kids was the hardest thing I have ever done. It has been well over 9 years now for me. Even though marriages can be horrible, for me it was still a process akin to grieving. I left a bad situation that was intractable with no love.

Let your friends help and support you. Don’t go it alone. True friends will she with you no matter what - and ‘plastic friends’ may not - but you don’t need those folks anyway.

Hugs from us all here. It will be brighter even though it will be very dark at times. Hang in there one day at a time and breathe.

I had it easy; my daughter begged me to do it, to get her out of that situation. It was one of the things that put me over the top when I didn't have the self respect to have decent interpersonal boundaries and say "no more" for my own sake.

On the other extreme I know a woman whose ex was actually a good guy who was quite smitten with her and didn't mistreat her, it was just a bad fit in terms of personalities and needs. Now some two decades on she feels both that it was the right decision, and yet, still feels a lot of guilt about it, the impact on her ex, her kids, etc.

This stuff is never easy. Hugs to you on a tough day. May it get better quickly.

So sorry to hear the news. Nice that your kids are receptive to the change. Mine were 7 & 3 when their mom & I divorced. They internalized things much differently.

Mine were 5 and 6 when my ex and I separated. It's not the end of the world, but it sure as hell seemed to be at the time.

I think of the pain associated with going through my divorce like having a broken arm set. I dreaded knowing it was coming, it was painful to get through, but I'm far better off for having gone through it.

They will be fine, they still have two parents.

Hug.

That's not a fun day... I got to go through it less than a week before Christmas... Just a couple days after we had agreed that we wouldn't tell them until after so that we could try to enjoy the holidays... Then she just decided to tell them... It sucked... That being said, hopefully things go well and you both put your kids first... too many don't... That's one thing I can say about my ex... It's not about screwing the other person over... It's about doing what's best for the kids. Good luck!

I should clarify that it was xmas 2011. LOL

Divorce is a process of grieving, growing, adjusting and change. Your kids will adjust.

In my divorce, we chose to cooperate in co-parenting our daughter. We put Claire's needs first.

This is a stressful time for everyone. Take care of yourself.

I feel for you and the kids. It will be tough on you all for a while, but stay strong!