Hang in there. Grief can tear us apart. Get support if you need it. The depth of your pain is the depth of your love. Your mother would want you to continue to live and find your way through. (((Hugs)))

Grief and loss are awful. I lost my mother to a car accident, and several other very close family members to illness. Everyone experiences grief differently, but you do adjust over time and it should not consume you forever. Two months is not much time, though, and the intensity you describe is typical for loss this fresh. It will not go on forever.

You should also not fear losing the memory and connection to your mother -- do not think that this deep grief is the only way you can maintain that. You should neither fight your grief, nor try to cling to and perpetuate it.

A final thing that most of us experience in losing someone so close is what is called the "grief spiral" -- soon you will feel the grief ease, only to suddenly return. After this happens a few times you can get very frustrated with yourself, but it is just your subconscious spoon-feeding your "new reality" to you in doses you can withstand. That phenomenon eventually subsides, too.

I am very sorry for your loss.

I'm not here to think for you, but its your decision. Just saying

I'm sure they would not appreciate you taking your own life. That would be so disrespectful. This pain will lessen with time. Ask ANYONE who has lost the ones they love......it hurts less as time goes by

I'm sorry for your loss. Over time, your grief will ease. This will pass.

You sound suicidal. PLEASE go to an emergency room today, and tell them your suicide plan.

Doctors will bring in a psychiatrist to talk with you. He/she can prescribe anti-anxiety and anti-depressants.

Taking poisons can cause severe brain damage.