Yesterday I took my 13 year old son grocery shopping with me... there was a sale on pork butt roast ($.59/lb!) and I said that dad LOVES this the way his mom used to cook it. So we got all the ingredients to make for my husband.
We're in the middle of a divorce and still live in the same house.
My husband came home and started in straight away about some money that had been transferred from one account to another a month ago and what was the explanation? I told him I don't remember, it was a while ago, but I know I did what he asked me to do. I was trying to track my brain but I just couldn't explain what happened. Im not on the account the money was transferred from, i don't have access to it, but my son does (it's a shared account with the two of them for car funds) he immediately accused me of nefarious acts and told me I was going to "get in trouble for it." He jumped to conclusions based on what? I don't know. :/
This is how we show our kids what to do in life. My husband later texted my older son and found out he transferred the money to pay with his debit card for the repairs we all agreed apon for his teenage car. Thankfully my husband had the wherewithal to come apologize to me in front of our younger son.
Drawing the worst conclusion worth little evidence is frustrating when you're made to be the one doing wrong.
I've lost count on how many times I've been gaslighted.
Sounds like you and I have been in similar relationships.
Money never brings out the good side of people. I am impressed your almost-ex had the goodness to make it right, or at least try to.
To quote an old country song, "There's nothin cold as ashes, after the fire is gone." At least he apologized.
@pepperjones It was good he did it in front of your son. That was a good example for him.
And that is the problem with "sharing" too much. I would take this as a sign that maybe there should be more accounts with less access to them and MAYBE one central account where a "common" pool of money is managed. That should be source of argument enough.
Sorry to hear about your divorce, separating while in the same house must be horribly difficult. Sympathies!!