I've heard a lot of things asked of me as a guilt trip type question. My response is always "If god exists, let him strike me dead right now." I throw my arms up as if to receive a lightning bolt or something (I notice some of them look up as well.) After about 5 seconds, I put my arms down and walk away.

I have a cousin whom is a presuppositional apologist.[rationalwiki.org]. Enough said .

My cousin took me to her Pentecostal church, and I watched as all the primitive theatrics unfolded--people screaming and shouting, speaking in tongues, running up and down the isles, etc.
After the service, she asked me, "Why were you laughing during church services?"
I replied, "You're joking, right?"

I'm terrible with remembering specifics, but I have heard some variation of the quote "if the bible tells me 2 + 2 = 5 then I'll believe it" so many times.

How do you argue that? How do you fight willful ignorance? My usual response is just nothing.