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Why the desire to bond with another human in order to seek something that is somehow lacking in self? Is this the primary reason we want a partner? To complete ourselves?

That places an extraordinary burden on the person we are focused on don't you think? I'm going to guess the failure rate for this is quite high. Upper ninety percent easily.

There is also a fear of being engulfed by the need of another that is well known for it's damaging parasitic effects.

An alternative would be to find this lack within self to be what it really is. An illusion. We believe we need therefore we act on that belief. Even when we don't act on it we still believe it.

The sovereign self that is whole and complete doesn't need but very often wants. The failure is in the quagmire of expectations. (insert lyrics to "We'll Sing In The Sunshine" by Gale Garnett)

This changes the needing of someone to the wanting of someone. A world of difference. By loving yourself first the Sovereign self becomes aware of it's sovereignty.

Freedom and empowerment.

Thoughts during coffee

Jim

JSchaper 6 Aug 21
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Expecting a lover to "complete" you somehow is IMO cruel and delusional

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I feel like I'm complete - all by myself. But sharing bits of life, the closeness and intimacies with another person can have rich rewards, that are sometimes unattainable when alone .

Yes thoughts,ideas,experiences the other partner has never had,recipes,or countries one has been to,but not the other.

@Mike1947 Yes, this is the sort of bond a sovereign being makes out of wanting the experience. Not of needing the attachment as a requirement to feeling fulfilled. I use the term sovereign to differentiate from the other words representing solo and ok about it. Seems to fit well.

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