Simple question - but lots of complicated answers. Were things hotter than a peppered sprout in the beginning? Seems like passion waxes and wanes over time - if that's what really important to you then you should move on. Love tends to endure - I think - and if you truly love your partner deeply, then leaving for a better, hotter sex life might turn out to be disappointing in the long run. ????

I stayed 10 years because of debt and the kids. Wish I would have left sooner. By sexless I mean the last 5 were completely sexless and the 5 prior it was only 3-4 times total. I also received no physical affection like hugs, handholding, etc. That might have made a difference for me. Also no emotional support.

We did try marriage counseling and I had a heart to heart with him twice but things only changed for a few months before they went right back. He also refused to talk about sex

Sexless relationships when you want sex with your partner doesn't is not a relationship to stay in. On the larger issue, ANY reason is a good enough reason to leave a relationship. On the point of 'for the kids' though, I can understand and respect that to the extent that it's not dangerous to stay. But being miserable is a pretty bad way to model relationships to kids. No kids=just get out as quickly as possible if that's what you want.

Too long no matter the time frame. That is a symptom of greater problems.

Let it go , if you're not happy , you're not going to want to make your partner happy . If neither of you are happy , how can you have happy children ?