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There are many intelligent and thoughtful members on this site. Most of my posts receive numerous comments that are controversial on both sides of the issue. That's great! Opinions are shared and considered.

I see a lot of demeaning going on lately though. I am trying to figure out why there seems to be such a sudden upswing for this kind of posting. I know it is what it is, but I am still curious as to why.

One of the things I observe happening is that many folks are no longer tolerating a lack of tact, particularly a lack of using sensitivity when writing about another person, activity or event. Have we finally reached out limit? Maybe this is a good thing, overall?

SukiSue 8 Oct 1
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10 comments

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1

These grouchy people are too sensitive and often read between the lines or think something is implied . This leads to misunderstandings.

Yes. One of The toltec's Four Agreements: never assume. Ask questions.

@SukiSue have to google Toltec I sure am learning a lot in this community lol

@Cutiebeauty lol... Me too!

1

I don't see much of personal attack happening at first.
What I see is that a flame war always start with someone taking a critics to a view point as personal, and then it became a personal flame war.

The toltec's second agreement: don't take anything personally. It's always about them.

1

I hope we have. Too many of our so-called "leaders" have been setting atrocious examples of behavior. I hope the backlash will be felt in November.

Please.... oh pretty please! ?

1

I block people who can't discuss with insulting.
I regret that I have to visit thier profile to block though.
I would like a long-distance blocking stick please.

Now there's an idea! Not about the blocking though. People insult me while discussing almost every single day. I try not to judge. They are who they are, they will be who they be. I've got it narrowed down to, "thank you ma'am, may I please have another?" Lol

2

I think that a lot of people claim "tact" when they are hiding a fear of being seen as argumentative, of hurting someone else's feelings, or getting into a textual confrontation that they may come away from looking foolish or having their feelings hurt. In my opinion tact is reserved for when someone is already hurting and you shouldn't kick them while they're down.

I think that a lot of the reason we're in the mess we are is that far too many people have begun to think that "offending someone" is a serious problem. It's not. Offending someone JUST to offend them is rude and tactless, however offending someone when they've said something rude and offensive already (maybe not to you but still offensive) is warranted and actually necessary.

Context: When someone tells a polish joke away from any polish individuals, do you laugh or call them an asshole? How about using the N-word when there are no black people around? How about when a guy makes a joke about sexual assault in the men's locker room? I could definitely make a case that part of our current predicament with sexual assault is the attitude many men hold uphold and justify in private as "locker room talk" while they should call the idiot out.

Of course I get called tactless all the time, what the fuck do I know?

Thanks for your input. I always try to attack the action not the person. But I'm an Offender. What do I know?

@SukiSue I agree with that but to a point. I think that if someone says they agree with the Nazi party, they should be publicly berated (online of course). There are also lesser offenses that people should feel bad about voicing. If you support children being locked in cages separated from their family because they weren't born inside your map lines, you can definitely go fuck yourself and I'm gonna say it.

@mattersauce More good points! I do feel the same. It's all about balance when it comes to respect vs. enabling, eh?

@SukiSue I'll agree with that and an eloquent way of putting it.

1

Some people seem to think using derogatory language and being downright mean is acceptable because "debate" & "free speech".

Fuck em and block em.

I mean that in the nicest possible way.

1

That's something frustrating we've encountered in our local community. Unfortunately zealots are zealots. Some freethinkers when they lose their faith or if it's just their personality attack whatever they don't aggressively pursue.
I think that's where the SJW slur comes from, the caustic overreactions to anything that doesnt parrot your belief.
Remember the 1 true commandment
DON'T BE A DICK!!!

Be a Richard! LOL...

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I would like more.

Kind folks are often quiet.

1

I generally block people with no tact. I recently arguably overreacted to something meant as a joke, but since it wasnt particularly funny who would have known to take it as one? You don't know me and I was asking for help. Dont try to be Don Rickles and roast me if youre not that funny. Thats just called being an asshole.

Bingo!

1

I've mentioned this the other day. Just scroll...

Do you mean just scroll on by? Or that you've written something that I should find? 🙂

@SukiSue I'm talking about the demeaning part. I just scroll. Why exacerbate something?

@TheGreatShadow ?

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