I feel so fake and lonely. I hang on to family and friends I love but can't stand. My sisters both have never rejected our biological father, even though he's a diddler goof.
I hosted a dinner today for Thanksgiving weekend, they brought some great food and I made stuffing and served wine. My niece and nephew mostly played on their own, because I guess I was exhausted from babysitting.
I think my little gathering went well. It just leaves me feeling empty and alone that we have so much hate between us, in spite of all we have in common and all we share. I love them. But also hate them almost as much.
They are good aunties to my son and daughter, but I sometimes wonder what kind of idiot i am for having them in my life, even though we all work hard at being kind to each and not speaking about my disgusting father whch we are all share together.
Then there are my friends. I love them all. Most of them are cool. But, one of them, (one of my closest) is very Religious and sometimes sides with right wingers on topics. We are open and honest with each. We try to occaisionally convert each other. I preach about socialism and science.
We stick together and accept each other because of all we have been through and done for each other.
I feel that being her friend makes me a traitor to my lgbt+ friends. Even though many of them are out of the closet and also remain friends with vile righties.
On a scale of 1 to 10
10 being digusting, and 1 being just human. How terrible a person am I?