I've been observing many friends lately as they go through health challenges. Perhaps it comes with advanced aging, but I can't help but Wonder.... Do you think sometimes we label ourselves and then in some subtle way perform a self-fulfilling prophecy in step with keeping the label?
I have always been a firm believer that we can change daily. Sometimes because we want to and sometimes because it just happens naturally. Shouldn't we be looking for this change before the continuation of a label that we have created for ourselves?
For example, if we label ourselves as an insomniac, do we really have to not be able to sleep pretty consistently? if we have some good nights are we lying to ourselves? This must be a some kind of a conflict in our minds. How can we make peace with it if it doesn't happen all the same one way or the other. Can we be a partial insomniac? What if we tell a huge story about how we're unable to sleep and then suddenly start sleeping again? Do we have to deal with ourselves as Liars? Is it best to just keep ourselves up at night? Do we have to really explain our new sleeping position to everyone since it was important enough to tell that we were not sleeping?
I'm going to try not to apply labels unless it's obviously pretty genetic. I believe that the conflict we create within ourselves is sometimes even more devastating than health challenges.
Are we really, insomniac's, introverted, allergy-prone, hyperactive, anxious, cold blooded, irritable, scatterbrained, forgetful, undisciplined, worrisome or any other label we can call ourselves or are we simply in a temporary state that should not be given the benefit of a label?
Does labeling hurt us by making a condition seem more permanent?
Excellent thinking: I would like to share that not much harm done by honest self-labeling. However, labeling one's self as bad or unlovable and other negative things can hurt. Labeling by someone else that is negative can hurt the labeled person by causing negative expectation of that person. Labeling can have positive effects too. The was a study done in which teacher though certain students were "gifted" and the children did better in class. Sometimes labeling can be helpful too, for example, a person finds out that all the suffering they have been experiencing has a name, (i.e., depression). [npr.org]health-shots/2012/09/18/161159263/teachers-expectations-can-influence-how-students-perform
I agree. It can easily go both ways.
Suki Sue you are onto something. Seems so very obvious, in so many situations, people put themselves in for example a victim modality, and then find it impossible to get out of the situation they created.
At some point in our lives, we all of us, create our personal story, and we continue to build on this story throughout our lives. Then because we have invested so much of our energy into our story, our personal drama, it becomes not just our story but our identity. This manufactured Metro Goldwyn Mayer production becomes our self proclaimed identity to the world. Thus our self proclaimed idiosyncrasies, faults, pains, allergies, and phobias, become our reality, and we will fight to the death to be right about who we are. Or rather should I say, who we believe we are.
I agree. We do fight to death to keep our labels. Kind of crazy. We often see no way of changing. For example alcoholism.
I think u r very correct on this .
In the medicine world and the diagnosis / treatment world , what u wrote is sadly very true in many occasions . I won't bore u all w 100 good examples of this , bcz nobody got time for this I am sure .
But I will tell u this , and its beyond medicine / doctors visits / treatment : I have noticed though my times that people , especially children and youth , they tent to be who u tell them they are . The labels u use to describe them , become the behaviors that are going to match and the expectations that they are going to meet . ..
Label a child " lazy ", " idiot ", " stupid ", " trouble maker ", and they will see their selves as exactly that . Label them smart , determined , nice , and u will see them behaving as to not dissapoint u and keep their title .
As for rest of us , without getting into details , again I agree w u 100%. Man , half of the labels we put on self come from the unrealistic expectation that we should be always laughing , sleeping like logs , have the perfect skin , be thin , have 2 bowel movents a day ( wtf !), never feel anxious , never feel unfocused , have the sex drive and and the sex life of unicorns ( I don't even know what that means , but I assume they do it a lot ), never have joint pain , gods Forbit never show aging , and even to eat a simple meal should be a celebration w many friends and in the perfect clothing w the perfect music and the perfect location . ? To my understanding of life so far , all the above are laughable , unrealistic , and harmful as well .
Exactly Pra.
Excellent thoughts...I do think many people become what they are labeled or label themselves...by doing so, I think they shut down their own ability to help themselves...I am not knocking medicine or real medical issues...but some things are truly in the mind because we make it so...if I labeled myself as an old woman, I would not be brave enough to do some of the things I do...I know my limits because I have tried not because I was told I couldn't because I was __ (fill in the blank)...
Yes. I think about this alot. As @bierbasstard mentioned, am I compartmentalizing in a way that's not good?
Yes. Absolutely - the more issues you mention or complain about, the more likely you are to be given yet another "diagnosis" (label) along with yet another prescription - in some cases for something that was only a temporary "glitch". We all have temporary or transient little aches or pains or allergic reactions or indigestion or acid reflux...etc etc etc. Many times they resolve on their own. Every medication that you take comes with a long list of potential side effects - some of which are 10 times worse than what you're being treated for. Not saying you shouldn't seek medical attention or listen to your Doctor - but read those package inserts and ask a lot of questions. A doctor is only as good as the information you give him/her - so remember that you are, ultimately, the one in charge of your own health care so be informed and try to keep a positive outlook and attitude...
Exactly!