Not all such incidents are deliberate and therefore qualify as gaslighting. Sometimes people really just have divergent interpretations of their experiences, because they're only half paying attention or engaging in confirmation bias or selection bias. For example I asked my wife this morning since she was going to the store, to pick up a fresh carton of half & half. I think the one I had that's nearly empty must have lasted a couple of weeks or more (it's ultra-pasturized) and I've used it strictly for coffee. Her reaction was like, what, already? And then she generalized from a time months ago that she saw me pour myself a drink of half and half to consume a cookie with, that I must be doing that alot when in fact I only do that as a very rare treat.

This could have easily escalated into an ass-kicking contest but we both learned long ago to pick our battles. Despite that, I'm sure she still thinks I am consuming an unhealthy amount of half and half and still does not believe me when I inform her otherwise.

That's just one example of how people can have a completely different experience of reality than you, without even trying or having malevolent intent. That's crazy-making enough. But then there are people who I'm quite certain know what actually happened and don't even bother to "convince themselves" otherwise, they just gaslight you for sport or to avoid personal responsibility or to project or whatever. Those are the folks who go to places that sane people can't get their minds around. Those are inherently sociopathic people will save face or gain status at your expense with zero shame.

Yes I know what you mean. I remember my mother saying to me when I was an adult that she never hit me, yet time and time again I had bruises on my legs from the iron board cord or the carpet beater.