I think it's hard because if you are nice people are suspicious of you.
I find it difficult to go to places and meet people because they all seem to think that there is no way I'm this nice in real life! Seriously? People are so use to dealing with assholes that when they meet a nice guy they can't believe we're sincere?

I hope to leave where I am for a more populated area. Some days, the only other person I see is my son. I get the loneliness. I don't know if we'd find like-minded people in a more densely populated area, but at least I could be lonely in a museum or something.

We are lonely because our main communication is through the internet. You just can’t meet people in real life like we used to. It’s sad and cold and I believe that is the truth.

I hate to say this but it is what I believe to be the truth.

It is not you, it is them. Small towns are social deserts. Cities is where humanity happens. It is easier to move then to settle. I know a lot of people enjoy the privacy you get in a small town but you can have that privacy in a city by just closing the door.

Try Europe.

Mostly atheist and mostly friendly.

And us Brits just love an American accent!

You live in the FFRR territory...

I think the reason we're so lonely in the good ol' USA is that we are taught (programmed) to be that way. Lonely people buy stuff in the hopes that we'll find the one thing that will make us happy with life. We've been taught to rely on things to make us feel better.

A couple of years ago, I found myself feeling completely alone in the world. I had retreated into myself more and more each day, and only left my house to go to work. I didn't go out to audition for plays or sing Karaoke or hang with my best friend or any of the things I used to like doing. I wanted people to like me enough to want to come hang with me where I felt safe, but I could get anyone to come visit.

At some point, the definition of insanity came to mind. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

I forced myself to go out to sing again. I forced myself to audition and even got cast in a couple of plays. (Theatre is notorious for being a place christians feel uncomfortable.) I even started hanging with my best friend again.

It was difficult at first, but I found myself reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. I realized my life was missing connection. The more I looked into it the more I came to realize Americans are taught to look to retail therapy instead of connecting with the people around them.

Fast forward a couple of years. I'm happier than I've ever been. I have more than a few close friends I trust with my inner-most feelings and fears. That's what was missing. And all it cost me was time.

If you live in one of those smaller towns where "the church" is the only social opportunity, I would suggest going to a neighboring larger town for your socializing. Or you could move to Asheville. It's a wonderful place full of delightful people.

I think its a shame that there's not a safe meeting place for atheists/agnostics to hook into. But as sure as you do, the holier than thou would protest and cause such a disturbance, even possibly promoting a threat to safety to you, that it almost wouldn't be worth it! My Wiccan friend and her boyfriend are members of some group called Creative Anachronisms (?), which is where other Wiccans seem to meet with no trouble, as there is no religious affiliation in their name. Is that a possibility or has that been tried already? It just seems that atheists should be able to meet somewhere to socialize and not be harassed. There's a club for just about any type of interest in this country except atheism. Its time.

Because EVERYONE is a right-winger! People are all "Oh, why are you single?" Um...bc I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than date Trumpies?

Little blue collar towns are the worst. There are only a few big fish in the little pond and the rest are considered outcasts. Most are so small minded.

My place is much better. No snow, about 60°, food, drink, things to do around here or not do if that's your fancy. Maybe you just need a change of location or to see the first daffodils and forsythia blooming.

If I read you correctly, your asking how to build community through secular means. Sort of BBSing IRL. What do you think of book clubs organized through public libraries? Movie clubs? Table top gaming? Bridge? Are these things of the past since we can do these things on the interwebs? Seems we underrate human contact by and large.