This is what I try to remember when I lose someone. Hope it speaks to you in some small way as well.
By AARON FREEMAN:

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

My belief is that we are all connected—to each other, to the water, earth, air, to all living beings, to the stars, to the universe. We carry with us our ancestors’ DNA: They are with us, in us. No one is ever truly gone. We travel forever, carrying with us all who came before, planting seeds for those who follow. My sister died young. She is with me and all she touched. I miss her still...

It's tough. I don't know what it's like to grieve as a believer, but I saw my mother who'd been religious as a child immerse herself in faith and fairy tales after my father's death. I don't ever want to delude myself in that way (actually, I don't want to delude myself at all).

I think of myself as being fortunate to have known those I loved for however long it was. I miss them and eventually the sorrow is mostly replaced by the memories of good times we've shared.

I think non-believers experience real grief and loss without the crutch of an "afterlife." Consequently, I think we value life more and face the reality of death more directly, and more painfully. Death sucks, period. I feel all you can do is experience the horrible pain of the loss, cherish the memories of your loved one, and integrate that whole experience into your life/growth. I hope this is helpful.

Same only you have one less crutch to rely on.Sounds brutal I know but thats really all religion is. Different opinions on what happens after death,but I personally don't think we're done!

Sorry for your loss; it's never easy, no matter what beliefs you hold or don't hold. Over the years, I have noticed that the more I know about my own nature, human nature in general, and the world at large, the more bearable it becomes to weather the inevitable storms of life. Studying the mechanisms of evolution in particular, odd as it may sound, has given me many a comforting insight regarding the human experience and the dynamics of loss. Best wishes to you.

More easily because I alone have the power to change it. Not always easy but giving yourself the ability to change your world is the best gift I get with a lack of faith

My realization that the amount of pain I feel after a loss is in direct correlation to the positive impact that person made on my life. In that I remember that I was lucky to have them and it helps my perspective. It doesn't stop the pain though, and I don't think it should.

IMO, It really comes down to whether you can lie to yourself. I lost my 20yo daughter in 2013 to suicide. The absolute worst thing thing I've ever gone through, still going through. I wish i would see her again but i won't, nor my parents either. Remember your times together and be glad for having them as long as you did.
I started a big argument at a Survivors of Suicide group at one point by asking the religious people there if they really believed in heaven and life after death why they grieved. I wasn't sorry I asked, it was an honest question. Many took offense though. It was like I threatened their beliefs.
Sorry for you loss. Grief is a terrible thing but its a good thing to and it will lessen and change. Treasure your memories...

btw---sorry for your loss....

Grieving is universal.

I have been an atheist since age 13, when I realized the Bible is just a book of stories written by men. My father died of cancer in 1978. I was 24.

To honor my father, I played a jazz flute duet at my friend's church in December 1988. The minister asked me to write something for the church Advent bulletin. Amazing how you get sucked in. I wrote:

"Ten years ago, my father died at Christmas. He was buried on December 23. You can imagine what Christmas has been like for me ever since.

"In 1984, I noticed empty pill bottles in my medicine chest dated "December 1978," "December 1979," "December 1980." They were for antibiotics. I'd been getting sick at Christmas every year, trying to keep up a front of Christmas cheer while ignoring unresolved grief and pain.

"I threw away the empty bottles. Then I began working on grieving. My father was a professional jazz trumpet player, so each Christmas I buy a little ornament - a trumpet, a cornet player- to honor him. I light a candle in his memory. Thank him for the gifts he gave me. Play my flute.

"My Mother says, 'We can't let Dad's death ruin Christmas,' and she's right. But we all heal at our own pace.

"I still feel apprehensive about Christmas 'Oh, no, not again.' As usual at Christmas, my heart is very full. But the balance in my heart between grief and joy is shifting. Now I can celebrate the warmth of human relationships instead of feeling only pain."

I don't have anything insightful to say, but if you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.

Memories. Cherish them. Although the emotions of losing someone are very much the same, we tend to process that information slightly different than theists. Look at the laws of thermodynamics, and know that no energy is ever created or destroyed. The person you lost was once in a state of non-existence, and then by a pure luck of the draw, was the winning combination of seed and fertilizer, and got a shot at life. Although that has now passed, the energy they possessed as a living being has been given off in many new forms, giving life and warmth to many living and non-living things around you.

I don't engage in grief that much. I also don't buy into the whole "stages of grief" nonsense. I think it's just a bunch of excuses to keep wallowing.
I'll shed a few tears because I know I'll miss the person, but then rationale takes over and I keep on moving.
I still miss my maternal grandmother every day. She was wonderful.
I don't miss my mother at all. She was not.

Everyone dies. It's a fact of life. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it.

My mother was an atheist in a country (usa) and a time (1950's - 2014) when it was not accepted much at all. She was very quiet about it...I didn't even really know until she made it clear to me that she wanted to be cremated and have no lengthy church service for her, but for those family members that it would help. We talked a lot about this before she died.

How did I grieve her death? I knew that she lived her life for the moment believing this life was all she had. I remembered all of the ways she was kind to friends and strangers alike...she was feisty and called bullshit on those who told her she was going to heaven (or hell)...knowing that all of these things helped me in both my grieving and my convictions...you still feel pain, you still feel loss, you still miss the person...they are gone...knowing that, you tend to let go and live your life the same way...this is it...

You will have to explain the difference you feel. As someone who has never believed in god I can’t relate to your former experience as a believer. Do you mean that you have nobody to pray to, to help sustain you in your grief, or do you mean that you feel sadder knowing that the person you have lost will not be going to an afterlife with god, as you used to believe. As far as coping with loss when you have no belief in god, well I just feel thankful that I loved and was loved by the people who were close to me and concentrate on the good times we had together. You will find that all the strength you used to depend on god for is there within yourself,

For me it's the realization of we are here now. when one leaves they are gone but there are still alive in your memory I don't know if it helped but I can honestly say I feel no terrible loss

I guess I’ve never been much of a believer, and never really felt like religion offered anything that greatly eased the pain that comes with loss.

How has the grieving process changed for you without religious belief?

Grief is always difficult. I just lost someone too.
You remember the great times, how lucky you were to have this person in your life for the years that you did, how you appreciated them.