FWIW the sanskrit meaning of Shiva is something like good or auspicious. Sanskrit is notoriously polysemic but I've not seen even esoteric interpretations of that word to mean "no-thing".

I've always thought Shiva Nataraja was marvelously evocative though, and it's easy to understand why they have a statue of it at CERN (cf. [fritjofcapra.net]

I think I don't need anyone's gods, since gods do not exist and never have.
I do not care what happens after I die, because I'll be dead and there is nothing after death. Just like there is nothing before life.

I have NO issues with existential angst. I find it to be a monumental waste of time.
I was born an atheist. Other people tried to tell me I had to believe in gods. I pretty much ran in the opposite direction from that bullshit as soon as I was able to.

Good luck figuring out your life.

With any placement or assignment of divine capacity the question of "what was there before that" always brings it home. If that god created, then what created that god. Or is it just turtles all the way down. ?

My perspective is a lot like yours. I’m an atheist with respect to mythical gods of old, along with the God of the Old Testament. But I realize there’s an ultimate reality beyond the senses. It’s “there” but we can’t detect or understand it—it’s beyond the human way of knowing. We do have glimmers of experience through conscious awareness—in that sense Ultimate Reality is subjective—we are that reality.

Most of dinvinities reflect human aspects or aspects observed in nature.
Understand and wonder about this concepts does not make you theist.
I like the concept of many gods (or the nice part of the concepts), I like the miths and their meaning, I have one of the miths tattoed on me because I find the story ressonating a lot with me, but I do not believe in them or even think they might exist.

Do you only like the concept of a god and see value in it that you can apply to your life, do you actually believe that such a being exists or both? You see, you can think that religious stories are useful because of the underlying concepts they convey without actually believing that they are real. You can like fairy tales without believing that there really was a talking animal or something.
Agnostic is a word that is used to convey something about knowledge.
If you say "I know Shiva really exists" you are not agnostic (gnostic).
If you say "I don't know if Shiva really exists" you are agnostic.
If you say "I believe Shiva really exists" you are a theist.
If you say "I don't believe Shiva really exists" you are an atheist.
You see, you can be an agnostic atheist or an agnostic theist, a gnostic atheist or gnostic theist. You have to decide which category you want to belong to.

“The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.”
-Delos B. McKown