In high school, I was pressured to become a professional flutist. At age 17, I realized my tendency to be a perfectionist would make me constantly unhappy. I was endlessly pushing myself- thinking I was stuck on a plateau- to improve:
Breath control
Dynamics
Fingering
Intonation
Expression
Tonguing and articulation
Vibrato
Sight reading
Posture
Open throat
Embouchure
Flexibility
Finger dexterity
Hand position.... Auuugh!
Instead, I taught private flute lessons to help pay for my bachelor degree. Played duets with a friend. Playing flute gives me comfort and emotional expression.
You were very insightful to realize the potential downside of being a perfectionist. A friend suffers greatly with that condition. I remember helping him clean out his parent's house after they died - - He was selling the house and had huge boxes full of stuff to dispose or ship to his apartment half way across the country. While sorting the contents he ran across several of his 2nd place state and national competition trophy in the sciences. Each time he ran across a 2nd place award, he became self abhorrent and angrily noted. Great. Another You're an awful failure award! I wish he had your ability to deal with life.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate what you wrote.
Hugs, Kathleen